When Did Your Heart Go Missing?
by GoTutorGirl
Summary: There's the girl. The girl that managed to ruin everything. A friendship. A love. Even a life.
1. Same Mistake

"When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" Chapter** One -** _Same Mistake_

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I look down the hallway, trying to find something that just might enertain me. But, yet I find irony. Not only did I find the two people that I didn't want to see, but it's even worse. They're_ together_. There's the girl. The girl who managed to ruin a friendship, a love, a _life, _really. And there's the boy, the best friend I used to have. Also the boy I love, but whom I can't have because of that girl. _Man_, I don't like her.

**"So while I'm turning in my sheets **

****

And once again, I cannot sleep

Walk out the door and up the street

Look at the stars beneath my feet

Remember rights that I did wrong

So here I go.."

* * *

_4 days earlier. _

No one would ever think that the bond between these three people - Brooke, Rachel, and Chase- could ever be broken. The friendship they shared was so strong, and had lasted for more than they could of ever imagined.

Brooke and Chase walked along the park, and Brooke smiled to herself as she pushed the stroller that her beautiful daughter sat in.

Brooke's daughter was and would always be the biggest part of her life. She was only 15 when she found out that the soon-to-be blessing was dwelling inside her. No one could believe that the 15-year old Brooke Davis- the rich, popular, and _friendly _girl would get pregant this young. But, at the same time, it didn't surprise them at all.

This blessing would change Brooke's life forever. She wouldn't be the girl who went to four parties a week, got drunk, had sex with whoever wanted to, and woke up the next day with a major hangover at a complete stranger's house. She would turn out to be the responsible, smart, and loyal Brooke Davis, who got good grades, was a good mother, and had two stable friendships.

She never once regretted the night she concieved her daughter Emma, knowing that if she didn't, she wouldn't ever be the person she was today.

Chase made a glance over at the beautiful girl that was walking with him. He loved when they just took walks with Emma, everything was just silent except their footsteps below. It was mysterious, and beautiful at the same time. But there was a pain in his heart that he was feeling that wouldn't go away - a feeling of guilt, and a feeling of fear.

* * *

Chase stared blankly at Brooke, trying to see how she was reacting to what he had just confessed to her. Her eyes were wide-eyed, and her face turned paler than usual. "_Oh_ my god." She whispered, in shock. She couldn't believe what he had told her.

How the hell could this happen?

"Oh, _dammit_, Chase!" She yelled, furious.

Chase just lifted his head down, feeling ashamed. He couldn't believe that this was happening to him. Now that he told Brooke, it just felt so much more real.

"How many times have I _told you_? How many times have I told you not to make

the same mistake I did?" Brooke screamed, making Chase wince. Chase- now sitting- put his head into his hands. "You know what? The one time that you screw up can make you who you are." She yelled. He sat there in silence, only nodding his head as she screamed at him. "How could you get her pregnant? After seeing me go through this, how could you let that happen? Do you even _know_ the hell I went through?"

Chase looked up, the tears in his eyes. "I don't know what to do, Brooke. I'm so scared." Brooke felt so bad for him as she watched him shake his head and stare at the floor. She turned away, the pain overwhelming in his hopeless eyes.

She spoke once more, her tone much softer. "I don't know what to say to you." Brooke said, shaking her head in disbelief. At that moment, her voice grew colder. "You're gonna need to clean up your act," She whispered, not making any eye contact with him. "Besides," She whispered in a bitter voice. "I'm not the one you should be talking to about this."

Brooke loved Chase, and had always loved him. Knowing what she knew now just broke her heart. Even worse, He had no clue how much pain he was soon going to go through. It killed Brooke to think of it.

"You're the one I want to talk to about this Brooke." He said weakly, and she turned away as soon as he said it. The tears ran down her face, and she quickly wiped them so he wouldn't see her this way.

"Brooke," Chase whispered to her. "Look at me," He waited for her to respond, but her body wouldn't move to face him. As more tears ran down her face, she tried to control herself. "Brooke, _look_ at me." He said, and she turned around. "I think we both want more than just being friends Brooke." He said, looking straight into her eyes. Brooke disgusted look led to a sharp sting on the side of Chase's face. She gasped, her hand coming to her mouth as the guilt swept over her.

"Oh my god." She whispered. "I'm sorry." Brooke said quickly. He looked down, speechless. "I .. just can't .. do this." She choked, backing up with each word she spoke. Brooke felt horrible, but she couldn't believe that he would actually bring this up when he had so much more to be worrying about.

"Why?" He said, finally, in a way that made Brooke's heart ache. She continued to shake her head. Brooke sighed the moment she looked Chase in the eye.

"Because.."

Chase knew that Brooke was going to tell him a lie, which made him even more angry. "No, Brooke. Tell me the truth_._" He asked her. "Why don't you want to be with me?"

Brooke shook her head again furiously."Because, _now_," She whispered angrily as if she was talking to a four year old. "You're gonna have a child. You're not gonna be worrying about a relationship with me, or a relationship with **anyone** else. So, _no_, Chase, I can't. And I'm gonna be really worried if _this_ is the first thing that you're thinking of when you find out that your girlfriend is_ pregnant_." Brooke yelled, and Chase felt ashamed as she yelled the bitter truth to him. Brooke shook her head as she exclaimed "you should go". Chase didn't speak a word as he got up. "Talk to her Chase." Brooke told him as she opened the door for him. "Just _talk_ to her." She repeated. Chase nodded, stepping outside slowly.

Brooke sighed as she shut the door and leaned against it. She slid down the side of it, reaching to the floor as the sobs racked her body, burying her head in her arms. She couldn't help but think why it felt like she was going through this all over again. It just wasn't fair.

* * *

**"I'm** **not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice,**

**Give me reason, but don't give me choice,**

**Cause I'll just make the same mistake again.."**


	2. You Could Be Happy

"When Did Your Heart Go Missing?" Chapter **Two** -_ You Could Be Happy_

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_A/N_: Thanks for the reviews. I know that I left the first chapter with not much information, so I'll explain. Yes, you will find out whom the father of Brooke's baby is. That will come up in the end of the story. Lucas, however, will come up in a couple chapters. I'm not so sure about Peyton though. This story is mainly focused on Brooke, Chase and Rachel.

* * *

Brooke walked down the hallway, her books in her hands, her eyes trying to hold back her tears, and her throat ached from it.

She almost gasped when he saw Chase and Claudia holding hands as they walked past her, and she turned to her locker, putting her books into it. Chase took Brooke's advice, and talked to Claudia. She didn't think that they would actually get back together, but who the hell knows with this school.

It was her fault, right? She had been the one to tell Chase that she didn't want to be with him because he needed to be with Claudia, even though she didn't want him to. She never thought that seeing them would hurt her this bad. She grabbed another book, trying not to see the glances from Chase in the corner of her eye.

**You could be happy.**

**And I won't know.**

**But, you weren't happy the day I watched you go.**

Rachel sat on the couch in Brooke's bedroom as she switched through the channels. Nothing interested her, so she turned off the TV and started to make conversation."What's going on with you and Chase?" Rachel asked, now watching blankly as Brooke folded clothes on the bed. She held Emma in her lap and started to bounce her, which made Emma giggle.

"Nothing." She replied quickly, pissed off by the question.

"I saw him with Claudia, Brooke. I'm sorry."

"Then why would you asked me what happened if you already knew?" Brooke snapped, grabbing the folded towels and walking out of the bedroom. Rachel looked up, shocked.

**All the things, **

**I wish I had not said,**

**Are played into loops,**

**Until it's madness in my head. **

**Is it too late to remind you how we were? **

**Not our last days of silence,**

**Screaming, blur.**

* * *

Rachel walked down the hallway in school, and noticed Chase walking with Claudia, hand in hand. She rolled her eyes and stared at them."Chase, what the hell are you doing?" Rachel asked, glaring at Claudia who was standing right next to Chase.

"What?" He asked carelessly, acting as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

"**Shut up.** You are losing your best friends pretty damn quick." Rachel said angrily, walking away.

* * *

Brooke pushed her daughter on the baby swing at the park, the same park that brought back all the memories of the guy she could of had. She remembered the last time she talked to him.

_"You should go," She said, walking towards the door. Chase didn't speak a word as he got up. "Talk to her Chase." Brooke told him as she opened the door for him. "_Talk_ to her." She repeated. _

Brooke sighed. She loved him, but now she knew she couldn't have him.

**Most of what I remember, makes me sure.**

**I should of stopped you from walking out that door.**

"Brooke," She heard. It startled her. She never thought she'd hear that voice say her name again. Brooke looked up to see him coming over to her slowly.

"Hey." Chase said. He didn't know what to say, so the first thing that he thought of just came out.

"_Hey_?" She asked sarcastically with a shaky laugh. Brooke shook her head, and pushed the stroller in the other direction. She couldn't handle being by him because she was so afraid of what he was going to say. Chase sighed as he watched her go, knowing that he loved her; so much.

**You could be happy. ****I hope you are.**

**You made me happier than I've been by far.**

**Somehow everything I own smells of you. ****And for the tiniest moment, it's all not true. **

**Do the things that you always wanted to do without me there to hold you back. Don't think just do. **

**More than anything, ****I want to see you go. ****Take a glorious bite o****ut of the whole world.**

* * *

* * *


	3. Dark Blue

"_When Did Your Heart Go Missing_?" Chapter** Three**

* * *

**(3 weeks later)**

She tried to get past it, all of it. She wanted to just focus on her baby, Rachel, and school. That was it, nothing else mattered to her much anymore. Brooke tried to get over Chase because she knew if she did, everything would be so much easier. She ignored the anonymous number of calls she had gotten from him, the texts, the pathetic attempts to try and start conversation at her locker. The times she saw them two together, it got easier. It got so easy that sometimes she didn't even acknowledge that they were even walking down the halls together, hand in hand, lips to lips. Or the time when Claudia started to wear baggier clothing to cover up the weight she had started to gain. Even after all this, Brooke still felt like the more she didn't talk to Chase, the more she needed him.

_I have you breathing down my neck._

_I don't know what you could possibly expect under this condition,_

_So, I'll wait for the ambulance to come._

_Pick up us off the floor._

_What did you possibly expect under this condition?_

* * *

_**"Shut Up. You're losing your best friends pretty damn quick."**_

Chase thought that she wasn't going to be right. Well, he didn't want her to be. He didn't think things would turn out like this, so hard.. so empty. He knew his relationship with Claudia wasn't real, either. It never was, and he didn't think it ever would be. There had always been someone_ else_.

_Have you ever been alone in a crowded room? Well, I'm here with you._

_I said the world could be burning down._

_Dark Blue, Dark Blue._

_Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?_

_Well, I'm here with you._

_I said the world could be burning down till there's nothing but dark blue, dark blue._

_Just dark blue._

Chase couldn't even begin to explain how terrified he was of the thought of being a father. It was like a non-stop shock, he got his mind off of it for a second, and then it hit him once again and he became even more scared. He thought that when he would start a family it would be with the right person. He knew that he wouldn't have ever wanted to spend the rest of his life with Claudia.

Chase knew that Brooke had gone through the exact same thing, which was why he needed to talk to her. Even if it wasn't for a good reason, he tried to make conversation, because he needed to. There wasn't anyone else to talk to about this, and that scared him even more.

* * *

Brooke walked down the hallway of her school, looking past Claudia and her friends. She saw that Claudia was staring at Chase suspiciously as he talked to Rachel. Brooke laughed to herself bitterly. _Why the hell are you with him if you don't even trust him? _

_This flood is slowly rising up, swallowing the ground._

_Beneath my feet. Tell me how anyone thinks under this condition,_

_I'll swim as the water rises up, the sun is sinking down._

_And all I can see are the planets in a row, suggesting it's best that I slow down._

_This night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue._

Brooke's eyes grew angrier, and she glared at Claudia. She wanted to pounce on her. Brooke never liked her, ever. That stuck up attitude, rich, slutty type of girl. She had once been that girl, and she never wished to go back. Brooke laughed again, wondering why Chase ever fell for her. Claudia turned her head away from her friends and noticed Brooke. Her eyebrows raised slightly, and the look on her face grew angrier.

_We were boxing. _

_We were boxing the stars. _

_You were swinging for Mars. _

_And took the power lines. _

_It was me and you, and this could last forever. _

_And the whole town underwater. _

Rachel looked over at Brooke as she talked to Chase. "She misses you so much. You need to talk to her."

Brooke continued to stare at Claudia, and she couldn't help but keep a sly smirk on her face. Leaning against the wall, Brooke just gave an obnoxious smile back at her. Claudia looked up at her friends, telling them that she would be right back. She turned back to look at Brooke, her eyebrows still raised.

Claudia looked up at Brooke with eyes painted in rage. Brooke laughed once more just to annoy the hell out of her.

"Stay away from Chase." Claudia threatened, standing on her toes so that she could hover over Brooke. She then backed away, and walked back over to her friends.

_There was nothing we could do. _

Chase's eyebrows raised, hearing what his girlfriend had said to Brooke. His mouth dropped, he signaled to Rachel to look. Rachel turned around, looking at Brooke.

"You _know_ I won't do that," Brooke yelled back to her viciously.

_It was all dark blue. _

Claudia stared back at Brooke, her eyes like flames. Brooke's eyes were filled with tears of rage. "I'm not sure what's going on with you, Claudia. I mean, I was a bitch when I got pregnant, but you've tripled that, and it's only been what, _three_ months?"

_Dark Blue. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?_

_Well, I'm here with you. _

Brooke felt the sting on the side of her cheek, and brought her hand to the red side of her face.

"Oh, god." Rachel said, running over to Brooke, restraining her, considering she was about to pounce on Claudia.

"Don't you _dare_." Claudia screamed at Brooke, and Rachel tried all she could to restrain Brooke from whatever she might do to Claudia.

"Let go of me." Brooke yelled at Rachel, trying to get out of the lock Rachel had on her. Rachel waited until Claudia was out of sight, and then Rachel let Brooke go.

"Do you have _any _idea of what you just did?" Rachel screamed at Brooke. Brooke looked at her, angrily.

"_Nothing_."

Rachel walked away, aggravated, and Brooke exhaled. Brooke watched as a boy walked up to her. "Rough day, huh?" He laughed, and Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Who are _you_?" Brooke snapped, fed up with all the shit she was dealing with today. She did not need any more from someone she didn't even know.

"I'm Lucas," The boy replied to her, reaching out his hand. "Lucas Scott."

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	4. Here Without You

**

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**

A/N:

**azmar**- Thank you so much. Sorry that I hadn't updated in a while.**Brucasgrl15**- Why is the story confusing? Though, thank you:)**Allybabes42-** lol. Thank you girlie:)**thinknpink**- lol. You seriously crack me up. :p Thank you!**OTHLVR26-** Yes, you will see others people. Haley, Nathan, and Peyton. Thanks.**naley4ever323**- Thank you!**missy-3252**- Aww! Thank you so much. **OTHlover04.** LOL. It was, and if I were Brooke I wouldn't of said anything either. I love writing that way though. lol. :p Thanks.

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Chapter **4**; _Here Without You_

She shouldn't of done it. She hadn't meant to, it really just came out. Brooke walked slowly towards the bathroom, her feet not wanting to move as she took the steps. She looked into the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes. Her eyes looked like someone she definitely didn't want to be. As she stared at those same eyes, she saw tears forming in them. Brooke fell down onto the cool black tile of her bathroom floor, and she let out a sigh.

_**A hundred days have made me older,**_

_**Since the last time that I saw your pretty face.**_

_**A thousand lies have made me colder,**_

_**I don't think I can look at this the same.**_

_**But all the miles that separate,**_

_**Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face.**_

_"When you told me you loved me, did you mean it? Or was it just a lie?" She said in a said and faint whisper as she looked at him. _

She remembered herself bursting into tears that day, because by the look on his sad face she knew that she had hurt him. Brooke shut her eyes, trying to hide from the fact that she didn't think Chase would tell her he loved her again. She felt the tear on her cheek, and she squeezed her eyes harder. Brooke heard her daughter cry, and she got up quickly as if nothing had happened. She stopped abruptly before she walked out of the bathroom, looking at her friend in front of her.

* * *

_**I'm here without you, baby,**_

_**But you're still on my lonely mind.**_

_**I think about you baby,**_

_**and I dream about you all the time.**_

* * *

"Brooke, you're a mess." Rachel said, looking at the empty vodka bottles and the destroyed room. "What _happened_ to you?"

"_Life_, I guess." Brooke whispered, leaning against the tiled wall in the bathroom. Brooke hadn't gone to school since the day she told the entire school that Claudia was pregnant. She was too ashamed, too depressed to even think about getting up.

_**I'm here without you baby,**_

_**But you're still on my lonely mind.**_

Rachel spent the rest of the day at Brooke's, cleaning up her house and trying to get her back on her feet. Rachel forced Brooke to go back to school the next day, even though Brooke was becoming extremely hesitant.

"Brooke, _please_. Everything will be fine." Rachel reassured her, walking her to the door.

"Yeah. I don't think that happened last time. _Last_ time-" Brooke said.

"Brooke!" Rachel said, "Don't finish that sentence."

Brooke slowly dragged out the door, but Rachel stopped her. "I need to tell you something." She whispered.

_**I think about you baby,**_

_**and I dream about you all the time.**_

_**I'm here without you baby.**_

_**But you're still with me in my dreams.**_

**_And tonight, girl, it's only you and me_.**

* * *

Brooke walked into the school with Rachel and quickly wiped her tears on her sleeve. '

_**Everything I know, and anywhere I go,**_

Brooke couldn't believe it. She was just so shocked that she couldn't move. How could she live knowing that she was partly responsible for a life being taken away from the earth?

_**I gets hard but it won't take away my love.**_

Brooke sighed, and Rachel rubbed her back with her arm. She tried to smile. She loved knowing that Rachel was there for her. She always would be.

_**And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done,**_

Brooke saw Chase and Claudia down the hall. Chase was in front of Claudia, protecting her while so many people asked about her, and it made Brooke's heart ache. She stopped, and Rachel pushed her forward.

_**It gets hard but it won't take away my love.**_

_**I'm here without you baby,**_

"I really don't want to do this." Brooke told her sadly.

_**But your still on my lonely mind.**_

"But you need to, babe." Rachel said, and Brooke nodded her head hesitantly.

_**I think about you baby,**_

Claudia glared over at Brooke's direction, and stalked away from Chase after he told her something. Chase on the other hand, looked at Brooke, and Brooke bolted towards the door. She knew she was running away from her problems, though she didn't care at the time. Chase looked shocked when she turned to leave.

_**I dream about you all the time.**_

"Brooke!" Rachel yelled, grabbing her arm, and Brooke stopped. She was disappointed in herself, Chase could tell.

_**I'm here without you baby,**_

Brooke walked over to Chase with her head down, and she looked up right when she was about to speak ."Chase.. I'm so sorry. I am _so_ sorry." She felt like it was all she could say, but it never was enough, was it?

_**But you're still with me in my dreams.**_

"Brooke. It's really fine. I'm not feeling sad about this at all. You see, I'm kind of grateful that Claudia lost the baby. She wouldn't have been close to the kind of mother that you turned out to be, and that child would deserve more than her. We're **broken **up."

_**Tonight girl, it's only you and me.**_

Brooke couldn't help but smile and turned to her left and her face suddenly turned so terrified, as a gun was pointed straight in her direction.

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	5. Speeding Cars

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_**OTHlover04**- Thanks:)__**romance in the rain**- aww. thank you. means much. __**wtlozy**- lol. thank you.__**Allybabes42**- Ally, I miss you already! lol. Can't wait to talk to you later. :) __**naley4ever323**- Thanks so much. __**OTHLVR26**- lol. I love seeing people react to the chapters. Thank you, I hope you liked this chapter and like this one:)__**byrd**- Well, I'm really sorry you feel that way. __**writerchick26-** aww. jess, thanks for sticking up for me. but you didn't have to do that. :p __**missy3252**- Thank you so so much:_

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Chapter **5**- _Speeding Cars_

* * *

She couldn't react. She hadn't even seen who was pointing the gun, she just saw it flash of the gun in her eyes and the shot and fell to the ground.

Brooke had never been so scared, and she thought about her friends and her daughter. Sadness filled her so quickly, and it made her even more frightened. She grew numb and felt sick in her stomach.

She couldn't even hear her heavy breathing from all the screams and shrieks she had been hearing. It was like she was in her own zone, and couldn't even recognize everyone around her. She didn't realize what she was doing, she was so in shock that she couldn't think straight. Brooke realized that she was sitting there, on the ground, trembling. Then she saw the person, the shooter. She gasped, though she was entered into a room and another student locked the door. She was in fear.

Brooke wanted to know what really happened, and she wished that if she could just think straight, she would be able to remember.

But she couldn't.

She found a student grabbing her and pulling her into a room, and she froze in fear as her eyes turned cold, and horrified.

Brooke screamed piercingly, seeing the guy she loved on the floor, blood smothering his shirt. She wanted to run to him, hold him, comfort him.

But she knew couldn't do that.

Brooke shrieked in sadness through her sobs, as if it were sucking up all her oxygen.

Why hadn't he run? He had been behind her, right? He would've ran, getting away from the shooter. Why hadn't he?

She hadn't felt this way before. She was frozen, and she was broken. Scared to death, she looked towards her trembling hands. It was like she couldn't stop her tears, and it was as if she was watching a movie and there was a cliffhanger, leaving her, never to known what would've happened.

Brooke tried to remember what had happened, though her mind seemed to stay put on the image she had seen of Chase, lying on the ground, a bullet deep in his shoulder. As much as she wanted to concentrate, her constant sobbing and watery eyes smothered her thinking.

She gasped over and over again, grabbing for air, feeling as if she would never breath again. Brooke felt someone holding her, and she felt comfort in the person's big, gentle hands as she stared at the door, in complete blow.

Brooke heard his voice, and she instantly felt better, knowing who was holding her, and who she was with.

Lucas' soft voice in her ear calmed her down, but she still exhaled repeatedly, her tears clouding her vision so she closed them, falling to the ground.

He brought her to the wall so nobody could see them through the door window.

Brooke then heard a voice that she really didn't want to hear. A different voice. A girl's voice.. whom she was dreading to talk to.

"What happened? I was just in the classroom when I heard something that sounded like a gun, and then screaming and you two came in." The girl asked, a rush of panic in her obnoxious voice.

Claudia. She thought.

At the moment, she hadn't really cared that Claudia was in the room. As long as Lucas was, she thought she would be fine.

Lucas shushed her, knowing that they couldn't make much sound. He whispered, "Don't talk so loud. There's been a shooting."

Hearing Claudia's gasp, she shook her head as she sat on the floor, burying her head in the sand. Her head was down, sagging into her shaking knees. Brooke felt so weak, so scared, so sad. She really didn't know what to do, but in that boy's arms, she actually felt safe for the first time since she saw Chase on the floor.

"Lucas.." Brooke whispered, horrified. "It was Chase," She cried. "It was Chase." She repeated, more loudly.

He looked almost defeated, like he had done something wrong. His head was down, and he looked at the floor as he sat, leaning against the wall.

Lucas stroked her hair, and she put her head on his shoulder for support. She bit her lip, she was too scared to cry.

"He'll be okay." He said, trying to comfort her. Luke knew he probably wouldn't be okay, and Brooke really tried to believe him.

"I really hope so, Luke.." Brooke whispered sadly.

She felt like she knew him, though they seemed like opposites. Brooke knew she was attracted to him, and she knew that Chase and the shooting wasn't the only thing she was scared about today.

Brooke heard another gasp from a girl Claudia.

"Claudia.." She whispered. Brooke really didn't have the strength to show any emotion, she just laid her head onto Luke's chest. Lucas grabbed Brooke's hand, trying to make her stop shaking.

Brooke felt a little shocked, his hand holding onto hers. She looked at Claudia with anger in her eyes.. she thought that her and Luke were the only ones in the small room together.

"It was Chase? What about Chase, Brooke?" She said, panicky.

Brooke turned her head to Claudia, fear in her beautiful eyes. She felt strange, and she really didn't know why.

"Claudia..." Brooke said. "Chase was shot."

* * *

Brooke had never seen Claudia this way, so horrified. Claudia looked ice cold, like if Brooke had even lied a finger on her she would've broken into a million pieces.

"Shot?" She trembled. "Where he is?"

She could see Claudia panicking, and turned looking at Lucas who looked back at her.

"He's in the hallway." Lucas said blankly.

Lucas realized just how stupid he was saying that, seeing Claudia get up and run towards the door.

Brooke eyes went wide and she turned to Lucas. "Go get her." She said quickly.

Lucas hesitated for a moment, and Brooke looked confused.

Brooke was about to open her mouth to say something, but she was interrupted by Lucas kissing her quickly before heading out the door.

Brooke gasped.

Why had he done that? Why had she not pulled away, especially after knowing that Chase and her had just made up?

She knew the answer to that.

It scared her, and it made her feel a sick feeling inside her.

Brooke put her hands covering her face and wiped her eyes as she looked at the ceiling, feeling her entire shaking body.

* * *

"Claudia! Where are you?" Lucas whispered, searching around the hallways. He heard Claudia calling Chase's name, but she wasn't anywhere near his body.

Luke knew he needed to bring her back in the room.. but at the same time it would put all of them in danger.

He heard noise down the hall and ran towards it, trying to get there as quick as possible.

Lucas stopped dead in his tracks, seeing a girl holding a gun. She was kneeling right over Chase, and she was shaking.

He knew he should move. But he felt frozen, as if he didn't have the strength to. The girl moved her eyes onto Luke's and pointed the gun directly at him.

"Hold on..." He said quickly, stumbling on his words.

"Please don't shoot me." Luke added.

He couldn't believe who was holding the gun.

* * *

Brooke stood up quickly as she heard voices. Lucas's voice and someone else's voice.. that someone else's definitely not Claudia's.

Her hand on the wall for support, she felt as if she was about to throw up. Brooke leaned against it, inhaling and exhaling.

She could die. Right now.. and she knew that she was making the most stupid decision.

Brooke stepped out of the room and into the hallway. "Luke?" She said, her voice uneasy.

"Brooke, stay away." He told her, looking back down the hallway and at the person who held a gun to his head.

Dammit. He thought. Why had he looked down the hall, showing the person the direction of where Brooke was?

Luke rubbed his head, trying to brace himself for what could possibly happen to him in the next few seconds.

"Brooke?" The shooter asked, stepping towards Lucas. "As in Brooke Davis?"

Lucas didn't say a word and the shooter ran down the hallway, searching the rooms for Brooke.

Lucas' eyes went wide and he tried to do something.. though he didn't know what.

Should he run and leave and save himself? But what if Brooke died.. he would never for give himself for leaving. But what would he do? He couldn't go get Brooke without going into the room, where the person with the gun was searching.

He was trapped.

* * *

Brooke was so scared to move. She just stood frozen.

When she heard footsteps toward the door, she felt relief, and got up quickly, running towards the door. She was ready to throw herself in Lucas' arms.

But that wasn't the greeting she got.

Not at all anything she had imagined.

The action was so strong, so meaningful.. considering in half a second it could take your life away.

The gun pointed to at Brooke made her eyes sad and shocked as she gasped.

She hadn't felt this way before. Ever.

Brooke wanted to duck, go somewhere, just hide. But she couldn't. She just stood frozen, even though she wanted to move.

She thought of her daughter's face, Rachel and her shopping, the moment where Chase had told her that he loved her, the day before in the bathroom and before she knew it tears were streaming down her face.

Brooke stared right into her eyes as if she were begging her not to hurt her.

Lucas ran down the hallway as fast as he could, wanting to run and hold Brooke. He wanted to protect her, even if that meant he had to die himself.

"Please.. Just put the gun down." Brooke said, her hands shaking as she backed up.

Luke walked by the hallway, he was out of breath, but he stared the gun.

The shooter turned around looking at Lucas, trying to decide which person to face.

She faced Brooke, pointing the gun toward her right shoulder.

Claudia walked down the hallway, and she turned to fear, seeing her best friend pointing the gun.

She couldn't believe it. It just couldn't be true.

Was her mind playing tricks on her? Was she just so scared that she was seeing things?

Claudia wished that, she really did.

Though it wasn't true. It was real, right in front of her.

"Marissa." She yelled, looking at her.

Marissa turned her head to her, but the gun stayed right in front of Brooke.

"Why are you doing this?!" Claudia yelled.

"Why am I doing this, Claudia? I'm doing this for you." She trembled.

Claudia looked sad, and frightened. "Why?"

"This girl.. took away your child! Or how about the time where she told the entire school that you were pregnant! Oh yeah! She knew before I did." Marissa shook her head, moving the gun with her hand.

_**It's okay by me.**_

Brooke winced as tears fell from her eyes. Lucas looked at her sadly. He knew he couldn't do anything.

"I'm sorry. I hadn't meant to." Claudia said, and Brooke felt bad for her.

Brooke took a step blankly, and she knew it was a big mistake.

Marissa didn't know what to see from the corner of her eye, and fired the gun.

_**It's okay by me.**_

Claudia gasped, and Lucas ran over to Brooke, who was grabbing for air on the ground.

The bullet ripped into Brooke's right shoulder and a huge amount of blood was covering her shirt.

She had never felt so much pain, and she let out something between a cry in pain and a gasp.

Marissa fell to the ground in defeat. The gun was shaking in her hands.

"Why did you do that?" Claudia screamed, tears glistening in her eyes.

"I did it for you." She repeated faintly, turning the gun around to herself.

_**It's okay by me.. it was a long time ago.**_

"No!" Claudia screamed, running to grab the gun away from her.

It was too late.

They all heard a shot go off.

Brooke squeezed her eyes shut like she had done in the bathroom the other day. She suddenly felt tired, and Lucas looked so scared.

Claudia fell to the ground, and she grabbed Marissa's shoulders, shaking them.

"No.. No." She said over and over again, in shock.

_**It's okay by me.**_

Claudia sobbed as she sat there, just staring at her friend who was dead.

Luke picked up Brooke and she winced in pain. They walked out of the school doors and outside, where an entire SWAT team was surrounding them.

They had never been this scared. Everyone had always seen things like this in movies or TV shows, but never in real life. They never Thougth it would have to come to them, and now it did.

They regretted the choices they made, everyone of them.

But what can you say..

They didn't think it would have to come to them.

_**It's okay by me.. it was a long time ago.**_

* * *


	6. The Scientist

* * *

_**romance in the rain**- Thank you SO much. It means so much to know that you loved that chapter. You will see what happens with the Brucas/Brase, and to let you know, Haley and Peyton will be coming in.__**OTHLVR26**- lol. Thank you:) You'll find out in the chapter. __**wtlozy**- Thanks a lot. __**thinknpink-** Thank you girlie. __**Allybabes42**- Aww.. Hun, thank you. I know, I totally thought it was sad. lol. __**naley4ever323**- Thank you so much. :D_

* * *

Chapter **6**- _The Scientist_

* * *

She couldn't get the image of her best friend and the guy she had recently met coming out of the school, blood covering her best friend's shirt by the shoulder. Rachel couldn't believe that out of every single person in her high school- in that school today- her two best friend had to get shot. Why had it had to be Brooke and Chase? What did she do wrong to deserve this? Why her?

This had been the third shock of the day, and she really was not ready for anymore. She still couldn't believe that Chase had been shot also.

Rachel felt like she had been stabbed in the gut over and over again. As she thought more about it, she couldn't control her trembling hands.

She could only think of one thing;_ it should of been me_. So many tears had fallen from her eyes that she felt like she was drowning in them. Rachel felt so cold and heartbroken, she couldn't even explain it.

Rachel didn't know what to do. Seeing Brooke being placed on a stretcher made her think of only one thing to do; go with her instinct. She knew she wanted to be there for Brooke, that's all she could think about at the moment.

Rachel ran towards Brooke and the officer immediately reacted, holding her back. She kicked and screamed as he restrained her from her best friend. Rachel sobbed, hitting the officer and then she realized what she was doing.

"I'm sorry if that is someone you know, but you can't be here right now" He told her, and she slowly backed up, squeezing her eyes shut miserably.

"But that's my best friend." She whispered sadly, knowing nobody could hear her. Rachel knew she needed to get out of here, she needed to take her mind of these images that scared her to death. She knew she wasn't ready to check on Chase and Brooke.. she was too frightened to find out how they were doing.

_**Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry.**_

_If they died..._ She wiped her eyes; she couldn't be thinking about that. Rachel didn't have anyone to talk to. Her best friends, the only people she really trusted, we're fighting for their lives.

She knew of something. Something that made her feel like the worst person in the world. Something that made her so unsafe, feeling so disgusting in her own skin.

Rachel wished she could just go back to that time in the hallway when Brooke headed for the door.

_**You don't know how lovely you are.**_

She would've erased everything. Brooke could be fine right now, not hurt by a bullet in her shoulder. She would be able to talk to her right now. She could have just let her go, and Rachel wouldn't feel as hurt right now, as disgusted.

_**I had to find you, tell you I need you.**_

She was sure that Chase would've ran after Brooke, and then Chase wouldn't of been there either. Chase wouldn't of ran in front of Brooke, protecting her from the bullet and hurting himself. He would've been okay if Brooke hadn't been there.

And she knew; _I would've made Brooke not there._

_Tell you I set you apart._

* * *

Rachel ran to her car, trying to get these thoughts out her head. She felt like screaming, knowing she couldn't.

She turned on the engine and put rested her head on the back of her seat, letting out a sigh.

She found herself slamming her fists on the wheel and Rachel let out a sob, putting her hand through her hair. Her mind was racing, she didn't know what to do. She couldn't control it, and it scared her.

_**Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions.**_

Rachel found her foot on the gas and she drove somewhere. She didn't know where she was gonna go, she just knew it couldn't be here.

She looked into her mirror, seeing that the ambulance with Brooke and Chase had already left.

Rachel gasped in relief, and she suddenly found herself crying again. She was a mess, she couldn't help it.

Her cell phone went off, and she realized that her mother was calling. Rachel could hear her crying as she asked if she was all right. She said yes, and that she'd come home after she'd seen if Brooke and Chase were okay and had gone to the hospital.

_**Oh let's go back to the start.**_

Rachel pulled up to her best friend's house slowly. She took a deep breath, and came out of the car. Rachel knew she needed to get to the hospital soon, but she somehow couldn't do that.

She opened the door with the keys Brooke had given her years ago, and Rachel came in to see the nanny and Emma playing with her favorite toys.

The nanny looked frightened, but that realized that it was Brooke's friend, remembering when she had been there when she interviewed for the job.

_**Running up circles, coming up tails,**_

"Oh, it's you" The nanny said, her hand on her heart. "What are you doing here? School doesn't end this early."

Rachel shook her head sadly. "You haven't heard? There's been a shooting at school," She paused, looking down at the floor where Emma was playing. "Brooke's been shot." Rachel said with tears glistening in her eyes.

_**Heads on a science apart.**_

"Oh my god." The nanny had said, frightened. "Is she alright?"

"I really don't know. You can go though, I'll stay here with Emma." She said.

"Oh, really, don't. You need to go see how Brooke is doing." The nanny applied.

She was right, she really did need to go see her. But, Rachel wasn't ready for that. She wasn't ready at all.

_**Nobody said it was easy.**_

"That's okay. To tell you the truth, I'm scared." Rachel whispered hoarsely.

She was scared. She was scared to death at the thought of losing either one of her best friends. Rachel couldn't bear to see how they were doing, because if they weren't okay, she knew she wouldn't forgive herself.

_Ever._

**It's such a shame for us to part.**

* * *

"It would really be better if I just stayed here with Emma. Thank you, though." Rachel had said, pulling so money out of her pocket for the nanny and handing it to her.

"Don't worry about it. I hope to God Brooke is okay." The nanny said, before leaving Brooke's house.

_**Nobody said it was easy.**_

"Me too." She whispered, sitting on the ground with Emma.

Emma was so innocent, she had no idea what was going on. She lay there, so cute, so unaware of things around her. She was just going on with her business, playing with her little toys, and it made Rachel ache inside.

She picked up Rachel, and let her lay on her lap, and she continued to play with her toys.

Rachel sobbed silently, just watching Emma pick up her toys and make little noises that would've normally made Rachel smile.

_**No one ever said it would be this hard.**_

Though it didn't make her smile today.

It really didn't, and it just made her feel more empty inside.

* * *

She got up from the floor, picking up Brooke's daughter, and she wiped her eyes. She couldn't go on like this, she needed to stay strong. Rachel knew that she was basically torturing herself, staying here without knowing how Brooke or Chase were doing.

_**Oh take me back to the start.**_

Rachel kissed Emma on the cheek, bringing her into the car seat Rachel had gotten for her. She drove to the hospital, taking deep breaths every couple of minutes.

On the way there, she couldn't help but think of memories of Brooke, Chase, and her. They had always been best friends.

Rachel remembered the time that they had all gone ice skating together. They had gotten there, and Chase had revealed that he had never been ice skating, and how shocked they were when he told them that.

She remembered counting how many times Chase had fell on his ass.

_**I was just guessing, at number and figures.**_

_12._ Rachel let out a laugh for the first time today, and she liked the feeling of it.

When she drove up to the hospital, she remembered all the good times they had had together.

She hoped there would be many more.

_**Pulling your puzzles apart.**_

* * *

"Can I see Brooke Davis?" Rachel asked at the counter.

The nurse looked up the name and Rachel stood there for a minute.

Slowly she got more agitated, and opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the lady.

_**Questions on science, science and progress,**_

"Yeah.. She's in room 209. It's right down the hall."

Rachel's hand slammed to her mouth, and she ran down the hall to Brooke's room, carrying Emma with her arm.

By the time she was in the room, she was crying hysterically, and Brooke gasped, looking at her.

"Rachel." She grinned. "And Emmy!"

_**Do not speak as loud as my heart.**_

"How are you?" Rachel asked, sadly, walking over to her and giving her a huge.

"Ooh, the arm, Rach." Brooke said in pain, putting her other hand on her cast.

"Sorry!" She said quickly, pulling away from Brooke and placing Emma on the bed Brooke was sitting in.

Brooke kissed her daughter, and looked up at Rachel. "Rachel, Chase.."

_**Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me.**_

Rachel shook her head. "I haven't checked on him, yet. I'm too scared."

"I.. I just don't get it, Rachel. He shouldn't of even been able to have been shot. I should've been at that time."

"Brooke.. he ran in front of you." Rachel whispered.

Brooke gasped, and started to cry. Realizing that Chase had saved her, and was now fighting for his made her have a stomachache.

_**Oh and I rush to the start.**_

"Oh Brooke" Rachel said, sitting on the bed with her. Brooke put her head on Rachel's shoulder as she holding Emma, and Rachel stroked Brooke's hair.

After a moment, Brooke got up. "I need to go see, Chase."

_**Running in circles, chasing up tails,**_

"I'll go with." Rachel said, getting up with her.

"Rachel," Brooke said quickly. "You might not understand this but I need to go alone."

Rachel did understand and nodded her head. "Take your time."

_**Comin back as we are.**_

"Thank you" Brooke said, placing her hand on Rachel's before heading out the door.

Brooke took a slow, deep breath, and walked up to the desk. She arm still hurt her, but it didn't hurt as much as the pain in her heart.

_**Nobody said it was easy.**_

She asked the nurse where Chase Adams was and the condition he was in.

The nurse looked up at Brooke, no expression on her pale face. "Miss.. Mr. Adams is in a coma."

She had never felt her jaws drop that far down, and her hands shook.

The nurse suddenly had a painful look on her face.. as well as Brooke.

"You can go see him. He's in room.." The nurse looked in up once again. "203"

She added, "The hallway you just came from, dear."

_**Oh it's such a shame for us to part.**_

Brooke nodded her head, wiping her eyes sadly. The words were being said over and over again in her head.

_Mr. Adams is in a coma._

Every time she heard them they felt like a slap in the face. Over and over and over again.

Brooke almost forgot the room number, and she turned into the room slowly. She saw Chase on the bed, just lying there.

She pulled up a chair that was by the bed and sat down, looking over at Chase.

Her tears were falling onto the blanket that was covering Chase, but she couldn't stop them from falling.

_**Nobody said it was easy.**_

"Chase. I need you," Brooke said desperately. "I can't believe that you saved me.. and you have to fall in a coma for it."

"I remember the time you, Rachel, and I went ice-skating and you fell on your ass." Brooke laughed.

"12 times, was it?" She smiled. "I miss that. I really do. I miss the times we had together. You need to wake up so we can have more memories together," Brooke added.

"You need to wake up, Chase." She repeated. She felt like she needed to say it over and over again.

_**No one ever said it would be this hard.**_

"I remember the time that you told me that whatever happened to us, you would always be there when I wanted to come back to you. I love you, Chase. I'm here. Now, _you_ need to come back to me. _Please_?" Her voice cracked at them end, and the pain in her voice made her burst into tears. Brooke folded her arms and lay her head down, closing her eyes.

_**I'm going back to the start.**_

He would come back. Wouldn't he?

* * *


	7. Shades of Grey

_**A/N:**_ _Thanks so much for the reviews to these chapters, I really love them. The name of this chapter is "Shades of Grey" and I chose that because I think that they perfectly describe Brooke and how she feels about Chase.. basically her situation. This chapter might be a little confusing.. but I'll do my best to explain everything. Thanks again. Hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving. Sorry for the extremely short chapter._

_**OTHLVR26-** Thank you so much. Hope your Thanksgiving went well. :)__**heathergirl84**- Aww. Thanks girly. :D__**romance in the rain-** Aw. Thank you so so much. I hope it wasn't too bad of a tear jerker, but I'm known for writing sad stories/chapters. :p __**Allybabes42**- Aw. Thanks hunny. ;) __**missy3252**- Thanks a bunch. lol. That's okay! __**naley4ever323-** Thank you lots. :)_

* * *

Chapter **7**- _Shades of Grey_

* * *

_Why?_

It was a question that was always running through her mind.

_Why had my parents left me right when I told them I was pregnant? _

_Why had I gotten shot?_

**_I am I am to blame,_**

_Why had Chase had to save me? Why had he gotten shot and had to fall into a coma because of it?_

It's a question that is always hard to answer. Well, at least for Brooke Davis, that is.

**_I sit here in shame._ **

**_I threw you away, again._ **

* * *

**_2 months later._**

"Brooke!" Lucas called after her, running up to her and giving her a kiss.

"Hey boyfriend," She said, smiling at him. "Are you coming over after basketball?" Brooke asked as they walked down the hall at the end of the day.

"Yeah, definitely." He told her, getting into his car. "I'll call you after basketball."

"Okay. I'll be home with Emma."

"I'll see you two there." Lucas grinned.

"_Brooke, come on!" Rachel whined. "You obviously like him.. and he kissed you at the.." Her voice trailed off, not wanting to bring up the shooting and making Brooke have to think about Chase and his condition. _

_Brooke lowered her head and shook it. She couldn't do that.. go out with Luke. Did she really like him? _

_The answer was yes. But at the same time she didn't want to.. for obvious reasons. _

_"I can't." She managed to get out, her voice tired. "I have the baby." _

_**And I, I send you my best.** _

_"I can take care of Emma tonight. He asked you out Brooke.. and to tell you the truth, you have devoted your entire life to this baby ever since your parents left after you got pregnant." Rachel said, spilling out the truth. _

_It was the truth, and nothing but the truth. Brooke had always been there for Emma. Never once had she gotten a babysitter so that Brooke could go out with friends.. or go to a party. _

_She just wouldn't do anything like that. Brooke never believed it was right.. and it was never going to start becoming right. _

_"No.. I don't think so." She mumbled. _

_"Please!" Rachel said stubbornly, holding Emma. "See," She said, trying to get Brooke to see her laughing and giggling daughter. _

_"This baby loves me." Rachel smiled, showing giggling Emma. _

_Brooke laughed. "I definitely know that baby adores you, Rachel. That's definitely isn't the issue. I just won't go out without her."_

_**I try and lay this to rest,** _

_"It's one night. Just one night. Give it a shot._

_She thought about it. Brooke knew she liked him. She also knew that he really liked her. What if this turned into a relationship? It wouldn't just be one night.. it couldn't. _

_"No, Rachel." Brooke said sternly. _

_"Why not?" She said, annoyed by Brooke's stubbornness. _

_Brooke sighed, she didn't want to deal with this. Rachel was acting like a child, and it made her laugh. _

_"One night?" She asked, finally giving in. _

_Rachel couldn't stop grinning, she knew she had won this. "One night." She told her, looking extremely happy._

Brooke remembered that day. Everyday she did, actually.. she wondered if she regretted it.

Her relationship with Lucas.. was fake, really. She had her heart focused on someone else, and it killed her seeing that Lucas really loved her.. and didn't want someone else. Brooke didn't want to want someone else, but it was true.. She loved Chase.

**_When you were my everything._ **

"_Luke! Come on, it's dark outside. I'm cold!" She whined, rubbing her arms with her hands as she shivered._

_He laughed. "It's not that far. Come here, hold my hand." Luke told her, giving his hand and feeling her in his. He could feel her entire body shivering, as her hand did. Her hand was soft, and his hands were big, almost protecting her from the cold. _

_Lucas and Brooke ran outside on the sidewalk, Brooke completely unaware of where they were going. _

_"Please, Lucas. Tell me where we are going. I'm scared, it's too dark out." She said. _

_"Don't worry," He said. "I'll protect you." Luke smiled and laughed. _

_"Aww. My hero." Brooke said sarcastically. _

_**Shades of Grey,** _

_"Hey! I meant that." He told her, and she laughed. _

_"I'm sorry, babe." She said, stopping him from running as she gave him a kiss. He was drawn into it, but realized that they were going to freeze in the middle of the night. _

_Lucas continued running and Brooke followed along. They reached a completely deserted park and Lucas stopped running. _

_"You brought me to a park?" Brooke asked, confused. _

_"You'll see." He said, taking her shivering hand once again and bringing her by a tree. _

_Brooke tagged along, and suddenly something had caught her eye. _

_**And please fade away,** _

_The tree, it had been carved into.. with two pairs of initials. One of hers.. One of Luke's. _

_"Aww. Luke." She said. "This is so sweet." Brooke told her, pressing her fingers over the heart he had carved. _

_"I love you, Brooke." He said. _

_Brooke gasped, she hadn't expected that. They had only been dating a month and a half.. it was too early for that to come out. _

_She turned to face him, looking into his gorgeous eyes. "Do you mean that, Lucas?" _

_"Yes." He said simply, looking back at her. "Do you?" _

_She bite her lip to stop from tearing up. But she couldn't help it. Tears came to her eyes. _

_"Brooke." He said quietly. _

_**And oh what have I said in vain?** _

_"It's just.." Brooke said, looking away from him. "Only one person has said that to me.. and that was Chase." At the moment she said his name, their eyes met. _

_"What, Brooke? You haven't answered the question." He said, suddenly nervous. Did she feel the same way? Was it too early to be asking her that?_

_Brooke looked down, and she sat against the trunk of the tree. She sighed, "Yes." Brooke said. "Yes, I do." She repeated, realizing it. _

_She loved him. _

* * *

Brooke came home, holding her cast with her left arm. She had to learn how to hold Emma differently, and it sucked.

_**Hey, and I'll look away,** _

"Jenny?" Brooke asked, setting her stuff down and walking into the kitchen on her house.

"Hi Brooke." The babysitter said, holding Emma in her arms as she came downstairs.

"How are you doing today?" She asked, taking Emma from her arms.

"I'm doing great, how about you?" Jenny said, grabbing her things as she got ready to leave.

**_Pretend I'm okay._ **

"Good." Brooke replied sweetly. She handed her the check, and Jenny thanked her before heading out the door.

She sighed, holding her happy baby. "How is my pumpkin?" Brooke said, kissing her baby and hearing her laugh.

Brooke smiled, and she heard the door open.

"Hey girly" Rachel said, falling to the couch.

**_I'm back on the road again._ **

"Hey." Brooke laughed, seeing Rachel so tired. "Are you okay?" She asked, looking at Rachel.

"Yeah, I'm okay, just really tired." Rachel told her, closing her eyes and yawning.

"I can tell." Brooke laughed. "You look like hell." She said, laughing.

Rachel threw a pillow at her, but she completely missed and hit a lamp.

"Hey! If I didn't know you, I'd make you pay for that!" Brooke said playfully, "and there's a baby in the room, so watch what you're doing!"

"I'm sorry, hunny, I'll be more careful." Rachel said, meaning it now.

**_And please, could it be true._ **

"Alright, good."

* * *

Brooke and Lucas had been talking with each other for the past couple of hours.. It was getting late and Brooke was getting tired.

Lucas immediately noticed it. "Alright, my girl looks like she's exhausted." He laughed.

"Aww. I am." She said, rubbing her eyes.

"Well, I'm gonna get going and I'll see you tomorrow." Lucas said, getting up.

"Luke." Brooke said quickly, and he turned around to look at her.

"Yeah.." He asked sounding a bit concerned.

"I think I need to show you something." She swallowed, getting up.

**_That I still love you?_ **

Brooke really wondered if she should do this. How would he react to this? It wouldn't be so good.. at all.

"What is it, Brooke?" He asked, curiously.

"Let me get it." Brooke found herself shaking as she went up the stairs. She walked into her room and got out a box where she had kept a few things.

Brooke opened the box and took out an envelope, and she couldn't help but remember when she wrote it.

**_And my love is unworthy._ **

She walked downstairs and Lucas was sitting down on the couch, looking confused.

"Read this." She told him, handing the envelope to him.

He opened it slowly, looking at the address. It was Chase, this was a letter Brooke wrote to Chase. She obviously hadn't sent it.

Luke exhaled reading it.

**_Shades of Grey,_ **

"Dear Chase," Lucas read. "I miss you so much.. and I love you for saving me." His voice trailed off because it was the same letter that broke his heart into a million pieces.

_Dear Chase, _

_I miss you so much. I love you to death, and I think you know that. I love you for saving me. _

_Everyday I regret not leaving that school when I was about to.. because I know that you would've ran after me, and you wouldn't be in a coma right now. We could be together right now if it wasn't for me. I hate myself because of it. _

_I'm angry at myself for letting you go after I found out Claudia was pregnant. If I had been there for you, I wonder what would've happened between us. _

_I'll admit, I haven't gone to see you ever since the shooting, the time I talked to you in the hospital. I'm scared. I'm so scared that if I see you that I'm going to break down. _

_I'm so sorry that I can't think of you everyday, and that's because I'm too scared I'm going to let myself fall apart. _

_I can't stand how I feel about you, because you make me feel like I haven't felt before. I'm in love, and it scares me. _

_Brooke._

_**And please fade away.**_

_**And oh what have I said in vain?** _

Lucas closed the envelope after he put the letter back inside, not daring to sneak a look at Brooke. He shut his eyes, and got up, and he finally looked at Brooke. She looked devastated in herself, like she wasn't the person she thought she was. She wasn't the person_ Luke_ thought she was.

_**I and I ran away,** _

"Luke?" Brooke whispered sadly, looking at him in eagerness for an answer. Lucas just shook his head. "Go to sleep, princess." He said before shutting the door behind him.

**_For I was afraid._ **

Brooke closed her eyes and tears immediately fell from her face. She ruined it, she couldn't get the image of Lucas' hurt eyes out of her head. She didn't fall asleep that night. And she definitely didn't feel like a princess.

**_Afraid you'd be everything._ **

* * *


	8. Only Hope

* * *

_**heathergirl84-** Aww. Thank you! __**OTHLVR26**- lol. Thanks so much. You'll find out soon! __**amanda.xo-** Aw. Thanks love. Means a lot, girly. love ya too. __**brucas3**- lol. You'll find out soon. Thanks for the review. __**naley4ever323**- Thanks! __**romance in the rain**- lol. That's okay, I don't expect everyone to :p You'll find out, I will have a scene with Brucas that will sum that up.. so, you'll see. Thanks so much for the review. I'm not a huge fan of Brucas, either. __**naley19**- Aw ! Thank you!! You'll see. Thanks for making me smile. :) _

* * *

Chapter **8**- _Only Hope._

* * *

Brooke Davis couldn't help but look back on who'd she become. She sometimes wished she could just step back from the huge world. She was just a person. One person out of all the people in the world, and sometimes it scared her. Brooke saw who she was, and sometimes it disappointed her.. other times it made her smile.

_"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live." _

The quote was always rushing through her head; always reminding her that life is short, and she needed to make it worthwhile. Had she? Was she the person that she wanted to be in this world?

Most people would say no to that question, but Brooke Davis could say yes. If you didn't know her, but you knew she was a mother, most people in her high school would say no automatically.. just because she had gotten pregnant at an extremely early age. She never liked how she was automatically judged over it. Brooke hated walking around her school and seeing a girl's face.. Brooke could tell it was on her mind, and she couldn't stand it.

But other times she would feel so proud of herself, like she had already accomplished her dream goal. The fact that she could raise a child in high school without a parent to help her- with only the help of her two best friends.

Some people just automatically judged her. But if you knew Brooke Davis.. You'd be pretty amazed.

* * *

Brooke exhaled, annoyed, as she tried to explain things to Rachel over coffee at Starbucks, where they always went to on the weekends.

"I'm so confused," Rachel said as Brooke rubbed her eyes. "Why do you keep calling him?"

"What do you mean, Rachel? I completely messed things up with him.. Why wouldn't I?" Brooke said angrily, not understand why Rachel couldn't understand it.

Rachel shrugged her head. "No, that's not what I mean. What was the point of showing him that letter?"

Brooke looked at her angrily. "To tell him that I still had feelings for Chase! Obviously, Rachel!" She said, looking over at her daughter in her stroller who was giggling.

"Exactly." Rachel said simply. "That's exactly why you did it." She said strongly.

"What the hell is your point?" Brooke said, getting a bit angry at her friend.

"Brooke, listen to me. You gave him the letter telling him that you still love Chase. Then why the hell are you calling your ex-"

"_Rachel_!" Brooke yelled, aggravated that she would call him her ex.

"I'm sorry, Brooke, but do you really think that you're gonna be dating Lucas after _that_? After what you did; showing him that letter? Come on." She told her, and it made Brooke frown.

"Well, it seemed like it after he said that to me!" Brooke whined, trying to get something from Rachel.

"What did he say, Brooke?" Rachel said, taking a sip of her coffee, trying to see if she would ever actually convince her.

"He said, _Go to sleep, princess. _That's gotta mean something." Brooke said, looking at her, hopelessly.

Rachel almost choked on her coffee. She coughed a couple of times and then stared at Brooke. "Hunny. If he said_ that_, then I guess he was just too paralyzed after the letter." She said.

"Shut _up_!" Brooke yelled at her, and Rachel started laughing.

* * *

"Brooke!" Rachel called after her best friend. "Come on! Talk to me about this. Please?" She asked, wondering why Brooke didn't feel like discussing the topic with her.

"Rachel." Brooke sighed. "You know I don't like talking about this. You know that!" She said in a whisper.

"I know, Brookie. But you can't keep pushing it under the rug like nothing happened," Rachel added, looking at Brooke sadly.

"He's in a coma, Brooke."

The words hurt her so bad. She couldn't handle those 5 words and she didn't want to hear them. If she didn't hear them, she could at least pretend that it wasn't true. But, Rachel didn't want that. She wanted her to face it, and to deal with it; Not just ignore it.

Brooke looked at her in the eye and she soon closed her eyes as tears formed.

"Now are you going to go see him? Because I know you haven't since the shooting." Rachel asked, making her think about it. She needed to, and Rachel was going to make her.

Brooke closed her eyes, trying to think about it. But if felt like there was a wall being built around the thought of Chase, and as much as she tried to break it, she couldn't.

"I don't know, Rachel."_ I don't know._ It was the simplest way to describe it.

"You don't_ know_? Or is it you don't know _why_ you aren't dealing with this?"

Brooke shook her head, sighing. "I'm trying to. I_ really_ am."

"Go see him then." Rachel told back to her, flashing her a small smile.

Brooke turned her head towards the window looking at people walking by. A boy caught her eye.

"I'll be right back." She said, and Rachel looked a little confused but nodded. Brooke ran outside, looking across the street. Was that _him_? Could that really be him?Brooke tried to hide her hurt face as Lucas turned her way as he walked with another girl.

Lucas' shocked face made her run back inside, and she hoped that he wouldn't come follow her.

"What happened?" Rachel asked, seeing her best friend's flushed red face.

"Lucas; he was with that _**ho**_!" She screamed, and then realized that people were staring at her.

"Brooke," Rachel said quietly. "Quiet down, there are actually people in Starbucks." She said, cracking up. Brooke laughed too, putting her hands on her face, knowing she had embarrassed herself.

"You need to make a choice. You are really confusing me. I don't know which person you love," Rachel told her, trying to control her laughter.

Brooke didn't know if she could answer that. She was confused herself, always going back to Lucas, then Chase, then Lucas, Chase. Was she ever going to choose and just stick with one?

Well, she definitely loved them both.. but she definitely needed to choose one.

* * *

Brooke continued to exhale as she walked down the hallway, trying to tremble as little as possible. She continued taking the steps, slowly, as she was facing her fears all over again. This was hard for her, but she needed to get over it. He was one of her best friends.. she knew that. Was what it so hard for her to go see him?

She knew why. She loved him, and she felt like she had betrayed him.. never going to see him.. to talk to him. Let him know that she was there for him. She hadn't been, and that's what scared her the most.

_**There's a song inside of my soul.** _

Could she go see him? She suddenly pictured him lying in that bed, and she winced, stopping. She wished that Rachel could be here with her, pushing her to do things. But at the same time she didn't want Rachel here, because that meant that she was going to do this by herself. It made her laugh, seeing that she needed her best friend to get through this. Brooke knew that she just needed to get there, dragging it out like this wasn't going to help anyone. Not Brooke, Not Chase, Not Rachel.

_**It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again.** _

Her heavy breathing as she reached Chase's room almost made her panic, but she leaned against the wall for support as she tried to calm herself. "All right." She whispered, breathing in and trying to fill up as much air as possible.. as if she felt she needed it to survive going in there. "You can do this, Brooke." Brooke told herself, opening the door as she held flowers and a vase she had bought for him.

_**I'm awake in the infinite cold.**_

It shocked her, again. He was just lying there, exactly like Brooke had pictured it. Brooke quickly turned her head away, trying to get the image out of her head as she closed the door behind her.

"Brooke." She heard the woman's voice, the familiar voice.

"Mrs. Adams. How are you doing?" Brooke said weakly, looking at her miserable face. Mrs. Adams sniffed, and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "Okay," She said.

_**But you sing to me over and over again.** _

"Do you want to stay with Chase? I bet he'd want you here." Her voice sounded like she was trying to stay cheerful, but was killing inside.

"I'm sorry I haven't come, it's just been hard for me." Brooke said sadly, walking towards her and Chase.

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart. I can understand it." She said, getting up from the chair she had been sitting in. Mrs. Adams walked out of the door slowly, taking a look at Brooke and her son.

"He loves you, you know that?" Mrs. Adams said, smiling.

_**So I lay my head down.** _

"I do know that." Brooke said, smiling back at her. Mrs. Adams nodded, before closing the door. Brooke put the flowers on the table and sat down in the chair, putting her arms on her legs.

"2 and a half months, Chase. I really can't believe it," Brooke said, looking at his face.

"2 and a half months; that's how long you've been in a coma, and I've only gone to see you once." She said, putting her hands on her face.

_**And I lift my hands, and pray to be only yours.** _

"I"m ashamed of myself, I can't believe how horrible of a friend I've been." Brooke said, tears welling up in her eyes. Brooke swallowed. "You need to wake up soon, okay? I don't know how long I can take it; you in a coma, just hopeless. I miss you, so so much." She told him everything, she just kept talking. She needed to keep talking, or she wouldn't be able to control her emotions, and she'd be sobbing. "I just found him with another girl today.. that_ asshole_." Brooke said. "And then I feel even worse for telling you this.. because if you had been awake we could be together."

_**I pray to be only yours.. I know now you're my only hope.** _

"I miss my Chase. I really need you to wake up as soon as possible; **please**?" She said, her voice breaking. Brooke turned towards the window, hoping for some miracle to happen to her; to bring Chase back to her.

"The doctors had told me that you can hear what I tell you,"Brooke said. "I hope you can."

_**Sing to me the song of the stars.. Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.** _

"Can you come back to me?" She asked him sadly, her voice aching. "I know I've been so bitchy to you; telling everyone that Claudia was pregnant, or just not being here for you at all. But I'm sorry." Brooke said, tears falling from her face. "I hope that you forgive me, because you couldn't even imagine how much I love you. I love you Chase; always have." Brooke added, putting her hand on his cheek.

**_When it feels like my dreams are so far, Sing to me the plans that you have for me..over again._**

Brooke just sat there and closed her eyes. For once in a very long time she had felt peaceful.. just sitting here Chase. She thought of all the moments she had with Chase and Rachel when they were younger. Some of them had made her laugh hysterically.. other times she had just smiled.

_**I lay my head back down.. and I lift my hands and pray to be only yours.** _

Brooke looked at the clock. She had told Rachel that she was only going to be an hour, and it had been an hour and a half. She kissed Chase on the forehead and took a step away from him.

_**I pray to be only yours.** _

Brooke turned the knob of the door, but heard noise behind her. She turned her head and gasped. She couldn't believe it when she saw Chase moving around in his bed.

"_Brooke_," She heard him say.

_**I know now that you're my only hope.** _


	9. Little Wonders

* * *

_**OTHLVR26**- Aww! That's cute :) Thanks so much. lol. You'll find out! __**naley4ever323**- Thanks a lot. __**heathergirl84**- lol. That means so much. Thank you :) __**naley19**- Aww. Thank you so so much. I actually have checked out your fan fictions, before. They are good :) __**romance in the rain**- Wow. Wow. Thank you.. that means so much you don't even understand. The only reason I write is for the readers... So knowing that you love this fan fiction means so so much.. Glad you liked my song choices, too. :p __**missy3252**- Aww... Thanks. __**Allybabes42**- Thanks Allybear. :)_

Chapter **9**- _Little Wonders. _

* * *

She hadn't remembered being this happy in a long time. Ever since she had stopped talking to Chase, things hadn't been the same. And now.. it felt like the pieces had just fallen back together.

_**Let it go, let it roll right off your shoulders,**_

Brooke looked at Chase and burst into tears. He held onto her and wrapped his arms around her. He wanted to calm her down, but just continued to hold her as she sobbed. "Don't cry baby," He whispered into her ear. "Everything's alright."

_**Don't you know? The hardest part is over.** _

She couldn't help but cry, she couldn't believe he was here.. he was okay. Brooke pulled away from his arms and sniffed, looking at him. He wiped her hair away from her face. Chase couldn't help but smile at her because she looked so cute. Brooke kissed him, feeling so happy that he was here with her.

_**Let it in, let your clarity define you.** _

"I really missed you." She whispered back at him as he wiped the tears away from her eyes.

"I missed you more." Chase told her, kissing her again.

_**In the end, we only remember just how it feels.** _

* * *

_**1 week later.** _

After Chase got out of the hospital, Brooke and Chase spent a lot of time together. Once a couple of days pasted, they both told each other that they loved each other.. and following, they started to date each other. It had happened fast, but they didn't care. They had waited too long for this and hadn't wanted to wait any longer.

_**Our lives are made in these small hours. These little wonders, these twisted turns of fate.**_

Everyday they would come over to Brooke's house and spend time together- most of the time it was with Emma. Brooke couldn't believe how much Chase loved her daughter, and took care of her. It made her heart break, knowing that she was keeping something from him. It was something big that she really hadn't wanted to keep from him. Only Rachel knew about what she had been keeping inside her. She knew that she needed to tell him, but she wasn't ready to sacrifice their relationship again. She couldn't, because it meant too much to her. Brooke couldn't do that yet.

_**Time falls away in these small hours; these small hours still remain.** _

* * *

It was a Saturday, and Brooke and Chase spent the day together with Emma. They sat down on the couch and watched Emma play with a few toys while they talked about the two months that Chase had missed. "His name is_ Lucas_.." Chase said, repeating what he had heard, clearly not wanting to talk about the guy that had hurt Brooke. Though he let her get all out, because he knew that she needed to somehow.

_**Let is slide, let your troubles fall behind you. Let it shine until you feel it all around you.** _

"Yes," She breathed in, "Lucas." She said, making him name sound like a horrible thing as she thought of what she had saw the week before.

"What happened between you two?" Chase asked, simply curious. Brooke looked instantly down once he said it.

**_And I don't mind if it's me you need to turn to; we'll get by, it's the heart that really matters in the end._**

"I saw him with another girl." She whispered. Chase clenched his fists, and Brooke immediately noticed. She couldn't help but let a smile release from her lips; She loved that fact that he was so protective of her.

**_Our lives are made in these small hours. These little wonders, these twisted turns of fate._**

Seeing Brooke smile calmed Chase down and wrapped his arms around her, wanting to stay with Brooke and Emma forever. Chase breathed in, taking in her scent and the smell of her hair. "Who was the girl he was with?"

_**Time falls away in these small hours. These small hours, still remain.** _

Brooke took a deep breath. "I'm not sure who she was.. He's tried to call me at least three times since I saw them together." She said, turning her head to look at him.

"I actually saw Claudia with another guy today, too." Chase said, just shaking his head and looking at Brooke. They sat there, silent. Brooke turned back around and looked at her daughter, then looked back at Chase.

**_All of my regret, will wash away somehow._**

Chase kept turning his head and not making much eye contact with Brooke. Brooke looked confused as she studied his face and eyes. "What's wrong babe?"

**_But I cannot regret the way I feel right now._**

"It's nothing." He turned away from her, staring right at Emma and nothing else. Brooke got up from where she was sitting on the couch and turned, facing him. The more she looked at him, the more confused her face became. "I don't think so." She whispered. "What's going on?" She asked him, sounding really concerned.

**_In these small hours.._**

Chase looked into Brooke's eyes now, seeing that she knew something was wrong. "It's just.." He whispered softly. "I was thinking. All that time I was with a girl who would instantly switch from one boyfriend to another.. but I could of been with you." Brooke's face changed from concerned to glad as she took in what he was saying.

**_These little wonders, these twisted turns of fate. Yeah these small hours, these twisted turns of fate._**

He continued on, staring into Brooke's beautiful eyes. "I could have been with a girl who would actually really love me, but I wasn't for all that time." He said really sounding sad and disappointed in himself.

**_Time falls away, but these small hours, these small hours, still remain._**

Brooke looked down and then came over to him, giving him a passionate kiss. "You have me now." She whispered into his ear.

* * *

Rachel walked into Brooke's house to find her, Chase, and Emma sleeping on the couch. Her heart melted when she saw those two, how in love that they were.

"Awww!" Rachel squealed a little bit too loudly, waking up Brooke. Brooke rubbed an eye and yawned. A small smile light up her face as she looked at Rachel, who was looking back and forth from Brooke to Chase; seeing how good the two looked together.

"Rachel," Brooke laughed as she tried to get up without disturbing Emma and Chase. She gave Rachel a hug, she felt like they had spent time together in a while.

"I'm glad this is working out for you." Rachel said as she rubbed Brooke's back. "You really deserve it, Brooke." She said in a soft voice.

"Thank you." Brooke told her. "What about you? Anyone found you, yet?"

"I did talk to a guy today.." Rachel said, smiling and looking down.

"_Awww_. Is he cute?" Brooke asked, becoming interested in Rachel's romance.

"He's gorgeous, Brooke." She answered, looking over at Emma and Chase who were still asleep.

"Who is he? Do I know him?" Brooke asked.

"Yeah, you do." Rachel said, sounding a little bit uneasy. "You know him pretty well, actually."

"_Really_." Brooke said, smiling. "That's good. Who is it?"

"_Lucas_, Brooke." Rachel whispered, watching Brooke's smile quickly fade away.

* * *


	10. Like A Man Possessed

* * *

thinknpink- Aw. Thank you. It means a lot to me.

naley4ever323- Aw. Thanks :) romance in the rain- Aww. Do you think so? That means a lot. :) heathergirl94- Thank you!

naley19- Aw. Thank you so much.

Chapter **10**- _Like A Man Possessed_

* * *

Sometimes things aren't going to go your way. Honestly, you'd have to be lucky if a couple things during the day actually went your way. Brooke Davis had to deal with that, because her life didn't go at all the way she planned. She had never planned to get pregnant at 17, and she hadn't planned that her parents were going to leave her after she told them.

_**I go on forever.** _

The truth was that she hadn't planned anything, really. Before her parents left, Brooke Davis was wild. She went to at least three parties a week and slept with a guy every chance she could. She lived her life without thinking ahead... she just thought everything would work out for her, not matter what she did with it. Once her parents left, she had completely changed. No more parties, hook ups, any of that. She planned her life out, starting with her child and how she would manage with that child in her new life.

Things didn't go at all like she planned.

* * *

Brooke stepped back away from her best friend, appalled. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to make sure she heard it right. Obviously had known she had heard it right, she just really hope it wasn't true and she didn't want to believe it.

_**Older burns are overturned.** _

"_What_ did you just say?" Brooke said, sadly, stepping even further away from Rachel. Rachel immediately looked sad, seeing the push back from her best friend.

"Brooke," She said, moving closer to her.

"**_No_**," Brooke said sharply, and for a second she scared herself. Her words were so cold and bitter that it made Rachel stop moving towards her, but instead she backed up. "Do you even _know_ what happened with me and him? Did you not see it, or hear me talk about him? Did it go in one ear and out the other? Was it _pointless_ to you?" Brooke asked her, louder than she expected it to be. Chase had woken up from this, but right now Brooke was so angry at Rachel that she hadn't noticed it.

"Brooke. I did hear it, I did." Rachel said quickly.

_**My life for worse to better.** _

"Then did you not see him with another girl last week!" She screamed at her, making Rachel wince. Emma started crying and Chase brought her upstairs, clearly not wanting to watch the two girls fight with each other.. or Brooke fight with Rachel.

"Yeah, I did." Rachel whispered, not making eye contact with Brooke because she was scared of the look she just might give her.

"So then you understand that he will do the _exact_ thing with you as he did him me! He will cheat on you if you have a relationship with him. Or are you that **stupid** not to realize it?" This time, Brooke didn't yell. She didn't need to because her words were so furious and vicious that it could beat yelling at any point in time.

"_Brooke_!" Rachel yelled at her, angry that she would ever think of her that way. She was now angry, very angry. Part of her was angry at herself for bringing this up.. even saying a word about Lucas because of what now had happened. But most of her was angry at Brooke, and how hateful she was being.

Brooke turned away from Rachel, and leaned against the wall for support. She didn't say anything but she just shook her head at her friend. "I can't believe this is happening." She muttered under her breath.

"What can't you believe, Brooke?! That something other than Lucas is bothering you? Because it is _so_ easy to figure that out!" Rachel snapped, staring at Brooke.

_**I'm just craving for a cure.** _

Brooke scoffed, a furious look upon her face. She closed her eyes, breathing in and out as she tried to calm herself. Rachel's eyes went wide, and she shook her head in disbelief. "Nothing to say, huh?" Rachel yelled. "_Exactly_." She said.

"I have nothing to say? You need to speak up, because you obviously have things to talk about. Start with Claudia, shall we?" Brooke yelled back at her, a huge rush of anger flowing through her body.

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. "_Claudia_?"

"Don't you play dumb with me, Rachel, you know exactly what I'm talking about," Brooke said, furious that Rachel would ever think that she was that oblivious of her surroundings. Rachel just looked at the floor; she really had nothing to say. How had Brooke known about Rachel and Claudia's new friendship? How could she have possibly found out about it?

"Oh, and I don't have anything to say." Brooke shot at her. "Speak up, Rachel, I _**can't**_ hear you."

_**Like a man possessed,** _

Rachel looked away from Brooke, closing her eyes. When she dared to open them, she rested them onto the floor; she didn't want to look anywhere else. "How did you find out about that?" She whispered, almost sounding as if she was ashamed of herself.

"Chase." Brooke flat out stated. Rachel nodded simply. She had every right to be angry at her, Anyone would be.

"How could you do that to me? Why would you ever even think about being friends with that snake?" Brooke yelled.

"Why would you call her a snake, Brooke?!" Rachel said angrily.

Brooke's laugh was as cold as ice as she shook her head once more. "Pathetic," She whispered.

"Do you seriously mean the person who was actually acted happy when she miscarried? Or the person who is completely a bitch to everyone besides her so called _friends_? Don't call _her_ a snake? That one?"

Rachel tried to speak, but Brooke cut her off. "Do you really think that that girl is a friend to you? Do you think that someone that selfish and iggnorant could ever actually care for you? Are you going to sink that low, Rachel?"

_**A requeim.** _

Rachel clenched her fists so tightly to keep her hands from thrusting upon Brooke's face. She was so angry that she felt that if she didn't leave instantly she would do so much more damage to their friendship than had been done today. Rachel slammed the door behind her. So many tears of rage were streaming down her face, that she felt like she was going to explode.

Brooke couldn't believe what she had said to her best friend. Tears were streaming down her face too.. but these tears were of sadness. The sadness that she felt from feeling that she had just lost that best friend of hers. Chase quietly came down the stairs to find a sobbing Brooke. He didn't speak, just took her into his arms and held onto her so tightly. He kissed her forehead as she cried.

"_Shh_." He said, knowing that if she cried any longer both of their hearts might just break.

_**We're singing,** _

"Chase, why does this have to happen? Why is it that once something good happens to me, another pile of shit has to be thrown on me once again?" She told him, closing her eyes as she sighed and he held her.

"It's gonna be okay, baby." Chase told her. It was probably the opposite of what she was thinking and it might not help much to Brooke, but Chase needed to believe it.

_**Hide the misdemeanors..** _

"Chase, for once in a long time, I don't think it will be." Brooke whispered, hoping that the things that had been said today weren't true.

* * *

Brooke layed in bed that night, not being able to sleep. Her mind was so restless that she couldn't stand it, and Chase stayed with her because he knew that she was extremely upset. Both of them just stared up at the maroon ceiling, waiting for each other to say something; just speak.

_**Never lead an open life, My hands were never cleaner.** _

Brooke took a deep breath and said, "I need to go see her." She immediately got up without saying a word, grabbing her purse.

"At 2 in the morning, Brooke? Are you serious?" Chase asked as he followed her, wondering how she would want to do this so late at night.

_**Not a trace for you to find.** _

"Yes, at 2 in the morning." Brooke answered, looking back at him. "The truth is, it doesn't matter what time it is.. Chase, I hurt her, and that means I need to fix it." She added, running towards the door.

"Can you stay here with Emma, please?" Brooke asked, already knowing the answer. Chase nodded, and Brooke gave him a quick kiss. Brooke opened the door and she found the person she wanted to find. Her face became sad as she looked at Rachel's. Rachel just shook her head and she immediately brought Brooke into her arms. "I'm sorry, babe, I'm so sorry." She said, her eyes wet with tears.

_**Like a man possessed.** _

"Me too," Brooke told her, tears in her eyes as well. "I shouldn't have said any of that. I was just angry, and pissed..."

"Same with me. God, I feel so horrible about this." Rachel said sadly, seeing Chase come down the stairs. Rachel gasped, seeing Chase at Brooke's house at 2 am. She looked at back and forth at Brooke and Chase; her jaw completely dropped. "A little _early_ for you two to be-" She said, her eyebrows raised.

_**A requiem..** _

Brooke gasped. "No!" Chase and Brooke said at the same time, looking back at each other. Rachel continued to stare, not really believing it. She knew her best friends, and she knew how they felt about each other. She was not going to by it.

_**We're singing...** _

"Well.. Not tonight, anyway." Brooke added, looking over to Chase. As she saw his shocked stare, she couldn't help but burst into laughter.

* * *


	11. Dangerous Game

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews, once again. I hope everyone had an amazing holiday! This chapter might be a little confusing, so I'm giving you a heads up. I'm also gonna say that everybody should just brace their selves.. these next few chapters are just insane. :) I love how I put a smile after that._

* * *

Chapter **11**_- Dangerous Game_

_A week later. _

Brooke and Chase had been spending a huge amount of time together since he woke up from a coma. Everyday they would spend at least a couple hours with each other, and Brooke had never felt so cared for in her entire life. Chase would always be there for her, and she loved it. He was always so protective of her, and she couldn't help but just smile when she thought about it. Brooke loved the fact that Chase loved Emma.

_**You stand before me now; we stare eye to eye.** _

She knew what she had to do, and it made her so incredibly sad. It made her heart break inside.

* * *

Brooke awoke with tears in her eyes. Her forehead was sweaty from perspire; her dream had been of Chase and Emma dying in a car accident. She breathed in and out, and cursed under her breath. Brooke hadn't wanted to start the day like this. But then she remembered that it was just a dream.. nothing like this was going to happen to her anytime soon.Brooke remembered Chase and her daughter, and she just smiled and let out a sigh.

_**Before another second clicks and one of us will die.** _

_**You reach for your metal as I reach for mine.** _

As she reached into her child's bedroom, she looked back on the day that she had brought Emma home from the hospital. Her daughter in her arms; she had never felt so scared and excited in her life.

_"Brooke.. I can't get over how beautiful she is." Rachel said as Brooke held her daughter in her arms. Emma was sound asleep, and Brooke felt like she was going to. _

_"Thank you, love. I can't believe it either." She said, placing herself in a __rocking chair__ she had bought months before. Brooke didn't want to move; she didn't want to wake her peaceful sleeping daughter. _

Brooke smiled, and took her almost 9 month old into her arms like she had the time before.

_**The sounds of bullets flying through the air is followed by a cry. And they're crying...** _

She rocked Emma, and she opened her eyes for a second before closing them again.

* * *

All three of them, Brooke, Chase, and Emma, walked around town together. Brooke and Emma always did this on the weekends, and Chase wanted to tag along with them. Brooke had went to get coffee and Chase wanted to get Emma ice cream. Chase told Brooke and then Emma and him went to the ice cream shop next door.

_**What will we do? What will we say? When it's the end of the game that we play?** _

Brooke looked out the window, and watched how careful Chase was when around Emma. He made sure that he was always with her, protecting her. Brooke couldn't help but just smile as she watched them. But her smile quickly faded away as she saw Claudia walk up to Emma while Chase ordered the ice cream, not looking at Emma. Brooke placed her eyes on Claudia's as she picked up the coffee slowly. She mumbled a thank you to the person who had made it. Her voice was shaky, and it really scared her.

_**Will we crumble into the dust my friend? Or will we start this game over again?** _

She saw Claudia looking at Brooke's daughter with evil eyes. Those eyes filled with revenged, and hatred. As Claudia sneaked a look at Chase, who was still ordering the ice cream, she grabbed Emma, picking her out of the stroller. Brooke's eyes widened and she gasped; dropping the coffee as it spilled all over the floor. She ran as fast as she could, and so many eyes were looking at her. But, Brooke's eyes were focused on the girl who was walking away with her daughter.

_**It's coming back to me...** _

"CHASE!" Brooke screamed as she continued to run, her voice sounding so painful that it scared him. She ran towards Claudia, and she stopped her. "Claudia. Give me her, _now._" The last word sounded so cold, but she froze, seeing the tight hold she had on Emma.

"What? Chase didn't tell you?" Claudia asked, still holding Emma in her arms. "He asked me to come here. Though, he didn't say that you were going to be here." She said, acting as if she were confused.

_**The young man lays alone but fastened to the ground.** _

"What?" Brooke asked. "Chase? What did he do?" She yelled at her, and Claudia laughed slyly as she rolled her eyes.

"I really can't believe he hadn't told you about the relationship we've been having before." She told Brooke, sneaking a devilish look at Chase.

_**The sounds of flying feet and a crying eye will be his last sound..** _

Brooke looked shocked and she stared at Chase, shaking her head. Chase's eyes were showing disbelief, but Brooke wasn't sure if she could believe it. "What?" Chase said, looking angry. Claudia's eyebrows raised.

_**What did we gain from all this? Was it worth a life?**_

"That's exactly what I'm asking, Chase. What?" Brooke said, so shocked at what she was hearing.

Chase just shook his head, staring at Claudia furiously. "I haven't seen her for weeks." Claudia placed Emma in the stroller as she continuously laughed, and Brooke immediately picked her out of it as she held her daughter.

_**We'd thrown all our hopes away and set our dreams aside.** _

"Right." Claudia said, walking away from both of them. Brooke just continued to stare at Chase, shaking her head.

"Do you really think that I've been seeing Claudia, Brooke?" Chase asked her, wondering what she could possible be thinking about the situation. Brooke's expression turned into concern. "Because you know I haven't." He told her.

"Chase.. " Brooke said, angrily. "I don't think I can believe you." She said; her voice ached.

_**Now we're crying...** _

He suddenly looked sad, taking steps toward her until he was inches away from her face.

"Why not?" Chase whispered to her, and she looked away from him quickly.

"We.." She said, trying to find the words as tears filled into her eyes. "Us; just don't work anymore." Chase could feel her breath on his face, and each one of the breaths felt like they pierced him as she said the bitter words. Chase shook his head. "What are you saying, Brooke?" He said, miserably, hoping for anything other than the answer he thought she was about to give him.

_**What will we do? What will we say?** _

"I'm saying," She whispered. "I.. can't do this anymore." Brooke whispered, not looking in his eyes as she thrusted her hands in the air; pushing herself away from his body. Chase looked down, and Brooke tried to look into his eyes. He shook his head over and over again.

"No." He said weakly, his voice so sad. She was so scared that she was going to start crying. Brooke closed her eyes and tears that had been held in her eyes suddenly flowed out, slowly gliding down her beautiful face.

_**When it's the end of the game that we play? Will we crumble into the dust my friend? Or will we start this game over again?** _

"I'm sorry." She whispered slowly, giving him a kiss on the cheek and then backing even farther away from him. Brooke took that hand and put it through her hair, sneaking one more look at him before grabbing the stroller with her daughter in it.

As she slowly walked away, wiping the huge amount of tears from her face, he couldn't help but picture the life he could no longer have with her.

* * *

Chase couldn't take it anymore. As he walked throughout his house, every place he looked had memories of him and Brooke. It annoyed him; he couldn't get her out of his head. He walked into his bedroom slowly, and layed onto the bed as he closed his eyes. Even laying on the bed reminding him of the nights that they had spent here with each other. His heart ached as he thought about her, but he couldn't stop; it wasn't his to control.

_**It's coming back to me...** _

He breathed in and out as he tried to control his emotions; he really couldn't believe that the two of them were really over. Chase had never been so saddened about something in his entire life, and he had never felt so hopeless. Rachel knocked on the open door with her knuckles, letting Chase know that she was entering. Her face had looked sad; Chase knew that Rachel had found out that the two of them had broken up.

_**It's coming back to me...** _

She walked over slowly as he eyed her, and she sat down on the bed that Chase was laying on. Everything was so quiet; it was almost scary. The silence made up for all their words; Rachel knew exactly what Chase was feeling, and he knew that she did. Finally, Rachel spoke. Her voice was so quiet that it was almost as if she wasn't talking, her lips were just moving. "I'm sorry." She spit out, sadly, trying to find something to say that would actually be meaningful. Rachel forced herself not to cry. She really didn't want to see Chase like this.. but she couldn't do anything about it. She couldn't stand being this useless.. this unhelpful.

"Did I do something _wrong_?" Chase whispered hopelessly, his voice breaking, making Rachel burst into tears as she felt the pain he was feeling.

_**It's coming back to me..** _

She found Chase's hand and squeezed it, while she put her other hand over her face, helping it wipe all her tears. Rachel shook her head over and over again as she let all her emotions out of her. Her heart hurt as she thought of Chase and how he was feeling knowing that the girl he loved had broken up with him. Chase couldn't cry, as much as he wanted to. If Rachel was going to cry, he didn't want to. He didn't want to put him in an even worse state than he was in. If Rachel was gonna cry, then he didn't want to. One out of the two had to be strong.

"I really miss her, Rachel." He added, turning his body towards Rachel as he looked into her eyes.

"Me too." She nodded, looking at him sadly as she stopped crying. Her eyes were all misty, even after she had wiped them with her sleeve.

_**It's coming back to me...** _

Chase got up slowly, and Rachel hugged him tightly. He seemed distant by his body language, and Rachel looked confused. "What's wrong?" She added, and then looked at herself like she was an idiot. "I mean other than.." Rachel trailed off. He couldn't look her in the eye because he didn't want to hurt her as much as he knew he would. "Look at me." She said quickly. Rachel brought her hand to his cheek, making him face her. "Chase, look at me. Just look at me." She repeated, and he slowly turned his eyes to hers. "What.. What's up?" Rachel stated, wiping her eyes again.

* * *

Brooke looked at the picture of her and Chase, and a tear slid down her cheek slowly. She looked at herself in the mirror, and her face was full of so much regret and sadness. She hated herself for doing this. She hated that she couldn't just tell him, but she felt it was for the best. Brooke hadn't that he wouldn't know why, and that they probably wouldn't be together again. It had been so short; their relationship, and she had never wanted it to end like that.

_**It's coming back to me...** _

She stared back at the picture of them ice skating, and her heart broke into a million pieces. Brooke was scared most that she wouldn't be able to find all of those pieces, when she decided to pick them all up again.

* * *

It took Chase a couple minutes to actually say it to Rachel. "I'm leaving." He choked out, once again look away from her eyes. Rachel looked confused, and at the same time she was sad again. "What do you mean you're _leaving_?" She added, in disbelief.

Chase finally looked back at her. "My aunt is really sick, and my mom is going to go stay with her for a couple months. And... I agreed to come with." He whispered.

"What?" Rachel asked him, wondering if she was actually hearing it. "No, no, no, no, no." She yelled, getting up. "You're leaving me?," Chase nodded. "Chase, for how long?" Rachel asked, a lump in her throat as she tried to speak.

"At least 3 months." He choked. "It's Aunt Victoria; meaning we're going to England." He couldn't get her sad image out of his head, and he thought of how Brooke would react to this.

"Oh my god." Rachel mumbled, shaking her head. "Well.. when are you leaving us?"

"Tomorrow morning." Chase whispered, looking down, and winced when he heard Rachel scream.

_**What will we do? What will we say?** _

"**Hell **_no_!" She screamed at him, now pacing back and forth. "When did you find this out? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was going to tell you and Brooke tonight, but then we kind of _broke_ up!" He yelled angrily.

"Alright, I'm sorry, Chase. I'm just going to miss you so much." Rachel whispered, taking him into her arms for a minute. "It's just so soon." She added.

_**When it's the end of the game that we play?** _

"I know it is, and I'm so sorry," Chase said, releasing from their hug. "Just.." He whispered.

"I can't tell Brooke, it would be so awkward. Can you tell her?" Chase asked, and Rachel's eyes went wide.

"You aren't going to say bye to _Brooke_?!" Rachel screamed, even louder this time. "You can't be serious! That'll break her heart!" She yelled.

_**Will we crumble into the dust my friend?** _

"You know this is hard for me, Rachel. Please?" He pleaded with her, and after a couple seconds, she nodded in agreement. Rachel quickly hugged Chase, not wanting the moment to ever end.

_**Or will we start this game over again?** _

* * *


	12. I Hate Myself For Losing You

**Author's Note:** _Thanks for the reviews. I can't believe that I actually submitted the last chapter, I thought it was absolutely horrible. It made me so sad that I had ended the main couple in the fanfiction.. Knowing what this chapter will be, it really scares me, lol. You know when I said for everyone to brace their selves? Well, now would be a good time to do that. I hope that the readers will stick by the story.. but I'm pretty sure everyone will. These next few chapters will be just insanely crazy. Oh, and this chapter is really long; just to let you know._

* * *

Chapter **12**- _I Hate Myself For Losing You. _

Chase woke up from a dream that made him smile. Brooke had never broke up with him, and she had told him that she was carrying their child. He then realized that it was just a dream, and soon felt miserable as he started his day off this way. Chase also realized that he was going to leave in 5 hours and he knew that he was definitely not ready for it. He wasn't ready for leaving any of it behind. 3 months was just too long for him to leave. Chase really wasn't sure if he could do it. Rachel had asked to come to the airport when he was about to leave, but Chase refused. He knew that if she came that he would definitely not leave. He knew that he wouldn't be able to.

_**I woke up today,**_

He also knew that he wanted Brooke back. Chase really didn't understand why she had broken it off.. He thought about what she had said to him over and over again and it just didn't add up like he figured it would. She told him that they just didn't work anymore, but it didn't make any sense at all to him. They had been doing great, getting along great. He had never felt more about anyone than what he felt when he was with her. Chase knew for sure that they had both felt that way about each other.. but maybe he was wrong.

_**woke up wide awake,** _

Chase shook his head, it just didn't make any sense. He looked over at the clock, and realized that he needed to pack for the trip. As he started to back all his things, he replayed what she said to him over and over again... and still... it didn't make sense.

_**Staring at an empty room.** _

* * *

Rachel had spent the night over at Brooke's house, and made some coffee for herself and Brooke. She sat down at the table, feeling nauseous from knowing that the day wasn't going to go well for her. She still couldn't believe that Chase was going to leave today, and the worst part about it was the fact that she didn't tell Brooke. Rachel didn't have anyone to talk to about this, and it scared her even more than the fact that one of her best friends was going to leave her from three months.

_**I have myself to blame,** _

Rachel tilted her head back onto the tip of the chair she was sitting in, and Brooke walked down the stairs with her daughter in her strong arms. Brooke put her daughter in the car seat she had for her. As Brooke sat down, Rachel got up and grabbed two mugs from the cabinet. She filled coffee into them and sat back down once she hadn't it to Brooke. "Thanks." Brooke whispered, still sleepy.

_**For the state I'm in today.**_

"Sure," Rachel whispered to her, trying to hide the sadness and pain in her voice as she talked. "How are you?" She told her, and Brooke immediately knew what she was talking about.

"I could be a hell of a lot better..." Brooke whispered, trying not to cry as she covered her hands with her face.

Rachel felt extremely bad that she was keeping it from her; she hated the fact that Brooke was so oblivious to it. Brooke just thought that the silence had to do with the two of them just waking up, but Rachel knew that that wasn't the case. At least not _her_ case.

_**And now dying.. doesn't seem so cruel.** _

Brooke placed her head on Rachel's shoulder, and she tried to control her tears. Rachel placed her hand on Brooke's head, bringing her closer to her. Brooke pushed away, not wanting Rachel to be worried about her being upset, but Rachel didn't care and continued to hug her.

_**And oh, I don't know what to say. And I don't know anyway... anymore.** _

* * *

Rachel had come to Chase's house because she knew he was leaving soon and needed to say goodbye. She couldn't help but dread the moment where he would drive miles away from her; and she pictured it, sadly. She felt an ache in her heart that just wouldn't go away. Her heart hurt thinking about not having Chase with her and Brooke for three months. It was just way too much for her to take, and she really couldn't stand how she felt.

_**I hate myself for losing you.** _

Rachel stood outside his room, leaning against the wall as she watched him pack. A tear slowly slid down her cheek, and Chase looked up slowly and his face was glistened with sadness. He didn't want to leave; he was sure of it. "Rachel.." He whispered miserably, and she brought herself towards him, soon coming into his arms. She buried her face into his shirt, and he held her even more tightly.

_**I'm seeing it all so clear. **_

_**I hate myself for losing you.** _

"Chase, I'm gonna miss you so much." Rachel let the "so" drag out for a little bit longer than all the other words that she spoke to him. She wanted to tell him that she didn't know how she could survive without him for the three months, but Rachel knew that Chase might not go if she did.

"I really don't want to leave you." He whispered to her softly as he continued to hug her. His words made Rachel's heart break inside, and she exhaled, her voice shaky. Chase released her from the hug that they had been sharing, but he realized that Rachel was still extremely upset. He took her back into his arms, and she let her head fall into his chest.

_**What do you do when you look in the mirror, and staring at you is why he's not here?** _

They stood there for a moment, and Chase decided that when she was ready to break the hug, he would let her. "Alright." She muttered, taking herself away from his body as she sighed, wiping her tired and teary eyes. He didn't want to say it, and held saying it for a little bit longer. Then he finally said the hurtful words to the girl standing in front of him.

_**You got what you deserved.** _

"I need to go now, Rachel," Chase finally spit out, so quiet that she almost couldn't hear it. She nodded her head, grabbing his suitcase for him slowly. "But, hey.. " He said, stopping her as she was about to walk out of the room. "I need you to know something." Chase told her. "I love you and Brooke so much. Okay?" He whispered, wanting her to know it before he left for the time.

_**I hope you're happy now.** _

"Yeah, you better. And we love you too." She joked, laughing.

"But, Rachel.. " Chase said quickly, taking her hand and smiling. "I don't want you to be sad over me leaving. I only want you to be happy, alright?" He said, sadly, and she nodded. Rachel whispered back at him, "I don't think I'm going to have a chance to anyway, I think I'm gonna be spending some time taking care of Brooke."

Chase forced a smile on his face, and then he remembered what he needed to tell Rachel about her. "Have you told her about me leaving, Rachel?"

_**Cause every time I think of her with you; it's killing me inside..**_

She wasn't sure if her answer was the right one or not. "No, not yet, Chase. If I told her, I knew that she would stop you from leaving.. I know that you need to go."

Chase looked confused, wondering what Rachel was saying. "What do you mean by that, Rachel?"

_**Now, I dread each day, knowing that I can't be saved.** _

Rachel raised her eyebrows slightly, and then she sighed. "I think that you are still so upset about Brooke breaking up with you.. and I think that you need to clear your head. You need to go somewhere; get away from it all." She said to him, and he laughed.

Chase looked at Rachel and smiled. "You know me way too well.." He said, making Rachel smile widely.

"That is so true." She said, taking Chase's suitcase by the handle, rolling it out into the hallway that was filled with tons of hardwood flooring.

"But, Rachel.. Just make sure that Brooke knows..." Chase asked, as he followed Rachel down the long hallway.

_**From the loneliness, of living without you.** _

"Let her know what, Chase?" Rachel said back, waiting for an answer eagerly as she knew that they didn't have much time before he needed to leave. She stop the train and looked at him.

Chase looked at her, hoping that he wasn't acting to selfish, or that he wasn't thinking too highly of himself. "Make sure that... well, that she knows that I'm not leaving because of her. Make sure that she knows." He repeated, swallowing the lump in his throat as he looked down at the floor sadly.

"Aww, Chase, I'll tell her." Rachel said, and then she thought about the time where she would tell Brooke that Chase had left.

_**And oh, I don't know what do to do.** _

She continued walking and took it slow as Rachel came down the stairs, carrying the suitcase. She suddenly felt sad, realizing it once again. They reached the entrance of Chase's house, and she set the suitcase down on the floor, wiping the tears from her eyes once again.

She looked up, staring in her best friend's eyes. Chase hugged her one last time, and Rachel sighed when they pulled away from each other once again. He looked at her sadly. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Rachel. You know that?"

_**Not sure that I'll pull through... I wish you knew...** _

Rachel nodded, and stared at Chase. "We need to email, okay? And you seriously need to call me." She told him, making sure that they would keep in touch over the several months he would be there.

"Definitely." He said, grabbing his coat and putting it on. Chase grabbed his suitcase, and Rachel watched him; her arms folded and her lip bit, keeping her from bursting into tears again for the many times she had today.

_**I hate myself for losing you.** _

"Oh, and take care of that Aunt Victoria. I always liked her." She smirked. "Bye Chase." Rachel mumbled, giving him one more quick hug when he was almost out the door. "I will." He laughed, and accepted the hug, and when she stepped back he took one last look at his house. She forced herself to smile as he turned to leave. Right before he closed the door, Chase whispered to Rachel, "Tell her I miss her." Rachel couldn't stop the tears from coming to her eyes this time, and she smiled, blowing him a kiss. She couldn't help but feel lonely as he shut the door behind him, leaving her there, alone.

_**I'm seeing it all so, I'm seeing it all so clear...** _

* * *

"Rachel, how are you?" Brooke asked, talking to Rachel on her cell phone as she drove in her car. She needed to tell her something, and she knew that it couldn't wait.

"Fine. How are you?" Rachel told her, trying to act like she was actually fine. Somehow, she seemed to pull it off.

_I hate myself for losing you. _

"Fine, too. Just driving to Chase's house." She said casually, trying to act like it wasn't a big deal to her at all. Though it was a huge deal, she was planning on talking to him for the first time before they broke up.

Rachel dropped the glass coffee mug that she was holding, and it broke into many pieces on the floor. "Chase's _gone_, Brooke."

"Rachel.. what are you talking about?" Brooke said, not sure what she should or shouldn't believe.

"I was going to tell you.. Chase is leaving for 3 months to go stay with his Aunt in England. He just left."

_**What do you do when you look in the mirror, and staring at you is why he's not here?** _

Brooke gasped loudly, and she lifted her foot off the pedal.. She really hadn't meant to. But she knew it was a mistake when she turned to her side, realizing that when she finally stopped, she was in the middle of an intersection. "Brooke?" Rachel said, hearing her gasp. "Are you okay?" Brooke braced herself, seeing the bus that was coming down the road. She knew that if it didn't stop soon, it would slam right into the side of her car.

_**What do you say when every thing's said? Is the reason why he left you in the end?** _

As the bus slammed on the brakes, trying to dodge the car, Brooke realized she only had about 10 seconds left before the car was going to crash into her.

"Promise me you won't tell Chase." Brooke said quickly, slamming on her pedal as she tried to speed away from the bus that was coming at her.

"What? Brooke, I don't under-" Rachel was cut off, when Brooke knew that the bus was just about to hit her.

"Rachel, I love you both.." She whispered quickly.

_**How do you cry when every tear you shed; Won't ever bring him back again?** _

Brooke closed the phone, looking towards the bus as it slammed into her side. Because Brooke had sped up, when the car hit Brooke, it made her swerve into a circle; tipping it over and over again. As Brooke lost conscious, the bus slammed into the curb. Rachel gasped as the line went dead, and tears formed into her eyes as she realized what had just happened to her best friend. She also soon realized what Brooke meant by not telling Chase. Brooke had known that she was going to get hit, and if Rachel told Chase, he would have come back from the airport immediately. Her jaw was dropped, and she covered her hand with her mouth. Rachel set herself in the car as she cried uncontrollably. She by accidentally cut her foot on a piece of glass, not realizing that she had broke the mug. She remembered what Chase had told her about staying strong, and she tried to stop her tears from falling.

_**Oh... I hate myself for losing.. you.** _


	13. Hurt

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews. I'm not getting so much anymore, but I don't mind because the ones I do get mean a lot. I had realized that I forgot to type the replies back on the last 2 chapters, sorry. I'm gonna make up for them now, so don't worry about it. This chapter is seriously long, but I'm really proud of it. Oh, and let me know if you like when I reply to the reviews in the chapter :) __And also, I know that you are probably really confused about why Brooke broke up with Chase and all that, but I'm telling you, you will find out about all of it. Let me know how you feel about Chase going to England for a few months, because right now I'm hating it. lol. :(_

__

(review replies for chapter ten)

_**romance in the rain**- aww. I love writing angst, it's so much fun and I really enjoy it. Glad you liked the ending, lol. Thanks so much. __**naley19**- Thanks !__**naley4ever323**- Thank you!__**heathergirl84**- Awww. That means so much. Aw, yay. I'm glad that was a perfect ending to a long day :p It's really nice to know that you enjoy this, so thank you :) _

_(review replies for chapter eleven) _

_**naley19-** Aw, thanks. You'll definitely find out. _:)_**heathergirl84**- Oh, that's awesome! I'll check it out. __**naley4ever323**- Thank you so much. :) __**BeautifulBlackRose-** Aww, thanks. I'm so glad to have a new reader! And, I wanted to let you know that I just love your screen name. It's mysterious :p _

_(review replies for chapter twelve) _

_**romance in the rain**- Aww, I'm glad I guess. Thank you so much, hun!__**heathergirl84**- aww. Thanks so much, girly. __**naley4ever323**- Aw, thanks. And, I wanted to let you know that it means a lot.. You've read everyone of my fanfictions and have reviewed on almost every chapter, so thank you. __**BeautifulBlackRose**- Aww. I'm so glad that you are exctied about this chapter. I hope I don't let you down :) __**JoyIsLove**- Aww, Katie! Thank you so much, love! I'm glad you were shocked, you know you did good when the readers tell you that! lol. I was planning to go for that, too. Thank you again. _

* * *

Chapter** 13-** _Hurt _

She couldn't have been more scared. You'd think that if your best friend was in a car accident, fighting for their life, that you'd actually be crying; shedding at least a tear. Just one. Normally, it wasn't that hard to do.

**_Seems like just yesterday when I saw your face._**

But, she was too scared to cry. Rachel felt like she.. nothing in the world would never been the same after this, and she couldn't control anything, anymore. She was so horrified, so traumatized; too scared to let a single tear fall from her eye. If she did, Rachel knew that there was no way in the world that she would be able to stop.

**_You told me how proud you were, and I walked away_**

Rachel tried to steady her pace as she walked down the hallway of the hospital, but she felt like something was dragging her down with each step. She wished that something could take her mind off the pain in her throat, eyes, and heart as she continued to walk down the long, wide hallway slowly, but she couldn't bring herself to do so.

**_If only I knew.. what I know today._**

Her body couldn't control itself; Rachel had never been trembling more in her entire life. The way she felt at the moment couldn't possibly be described. If you did, it wouldn't make sense. It wouldn't be able to make sense because there were no words to describe it. It was almost as if you could, you would have to make up a new word for it. But, even then, you couldn't. Who would want to? It was so incredibly impossible to feel the feeling that there wasn't any hope anymore.

**_I would hold you in my arms._**

Rachel finally found herself at the foot of Brooke's room. She let out a silent gasp as she looked through the small, glass window, and the rude shock of the doctors swarming around her best friend awakened her as she looked through the small, square, glass window.

**_I would take the pain away._**

There was no way that anyone could possibly feel the sadness that she felt. She felt like she had lost Brooke already. When Rachel thought of how she would feel if she actually did lose her.. She really couldn't think about it; she didn't think you could ever feel as bad as she felt at the moment. Rachel felt that it was as worse as it gets, but it wasn't, and she couldn't think about how much more horrible it could be.

**_Thank you for all you've done._**

Brooke was the one thing that Rachel could always depend on. She was always there, whenever she needed her. When the first boy she liked in the first grade told her that he hated her, Brooke was there; holding her as she cried into her arms. When Rachel broke her leg in the summer from falling off her bike at the age of 9, who was there with her; talking to her for hours straight, everyday?

**_Forgive all your mistakes._**

The answer was always the same; _Brooke._

If she ever lost her, it would be as if she lost a huge piece of her life. When Rachel thought about it, it would only last for the maximum of two seconds; it was so painful for her to do. She just couldn't stand wasting her time on something that was too hard for her to think about. Rachel would never be the same if she lost Brooke. Ever.

**_There's nothing I wouldn't do.._**

Rachel soon found it too painful to stare into the window, and she lowered her eye level until it hit the floor. Her body trembled and she found it too hard to stand up. Every bone in her body ached and she fell against the back of the wall, lowering her body down until her behind felt the floor beneath her.

**_To hear your voice.. again._**

Some people talk about how they "understand" what you're going through when you lose someone that you loved. But, you definitely wouldn't be able to "understand" how Rachel would feel about losing Brooke. She had never been that close to anyone in her entire life. No one could really "understand" how big of a friendship the two of them had. The only people how knew that were Brooke and Rachel..and that was always enough for the two of them.

**_Sometimes I want to call you.._**

As she closed her eyes tightly shut, she wondered how much longer it would be until she broke down completely, and Rachel soon felt that everything she attempted to do was just too hard for her. She buried her head into her long, skinny arms and Rachel tried to breathe in and out as tears formed in the edges of her long eyelashes.

**_but I know you won't be there._**

The last words that Brooke had told her stabbed her over and over again. She wished it weren't the last words that were going to be said by the person that she cared about the most. But as she remembered looking into that glass small window, she had a reason that it might just be. Rachel exhaled, her voice was extremely shaky, as were her hands and body. She clasped her hand to her mouth, trying to stop the sobs for escaping her lips. She didn't think that she could hold on much longer.

**_I'm sorry for blaming you.._**

It was so hard for her to reach into her pocket as she tried to pull out her cell phone because of her shaking hands. Her tears blurred her vision, and her fingers felt numb as she pressed the numbers to call Chase. She wondered whether or not she should do so. Rachel knew that Brooke had told her not to, but she also knew that Chase would've needed to know. It was as if either way, she was screwed.

**_for everything I just couldn't do._**

Rachel squeezed her eyes to make the rest of her tears fall out of her eyes, and then she wiped them away. She knew that she didn't want to act really weak in front of Chase, because she knew that Rachel needed to be strong... for Brooke. Her fingers were shaking as she dialed the numbers, but it was so hard for her because of her numb body. It took her at least 3 times before she actually dialed his number. Her entire body was shaking uncontrollably, and when she heard his voice mail she fought the urge to burst into tears. She shook her head as she closed the phone, aggravated and scared.

**_And I've hurt myself.._**

Rachel was so tired, and she wanted to go away from all the pain; just everything. It was almost 10, and Brooke had gotten in the accident around 4. It pissed her off, knowing that they still weren't telling her anything that had happened to Brooke. She closed her eyes, and she was glad she knew that she would soon fall asleep, which was exactly what she wanted at the moment.. exactly what she needed.

**_by hurting you._**

* * *

Rachel was awoken by her cell phone ringing, and she noticed it was two in the morning. She was still sitting against the wall, and she wondered who the hell would text message her at this time. But then she realized that one of her best friends was in England, where it was many hours away.

**_Some days I feel broke inside.._**

She looked at the text that Chase had sent her, and he told her that he couldn't talk now but had gotten her call. Chase also said that he missed her already and hoped she was okay. "I'm definitely not okay, Chase." Rachel mumbled to herself, as exhaled slowly. She found herself a lot more relaxed after she had gotten a few hours of sleep.

**_but I won't admit.._**

A woman doctor came out of Brooke's room, and she sighed. Rachel's jaw dropped, and soon tears filled her eyes as she stood up. "No." She whispered, shaking her head gradually as she moved her body slowly towards the room. _Please, God, no._ She thought, trying to get the image of what she thought might be happening out of her head.

**_Sometimes I just want to hide..._**

She pushed the door open with her now shaking hand, as she watched the doctors use paddles on her best friend. Rachel looked over at the heart monitor, seeing the flat line still steady. As the doctors put the paddles aside and decided not to treat Brooke, Rachel looked at them in shock. "Try again." She said, strongly, trying not to sound weak in front of the doctors.

The doctors looked up suddenly, not knowing that she was in the room. "Miss, we can't do that. At this point, it wouldn't help her."

**_because it's you I miss._**

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing, and she also couldn't believe how bad Brooke looked. There were so many cuts around her face and on her entire body. It scared Brooke so much because she didn't know that Brooke had gotten in this bad of a car accident. There were tears in Rachel's eyes, but yet she would not let them fall. Her entire body was shaking, but she would not move. There was sadness in her eyes, but there was even more determination.

**_You know it's so hard.. _**

"Try again." She repeated, louder, and with even more emotion. The doctors looked at each other, and decided to go at it again. The paddles shocked Brooke, and her body fell forward before she slouched back onto the uncomfortable hospital bed. Rachel looked back at the heart monitor: No change. Her face fell as she looked back at the doctors. "Once more." She begged them, but the tone of her voice was remaining strong.

**_to say goodbye when it comes to this._**

One of the doctors shook their head, and Rachel continued to be fearless. "Is this the kind of doctor you are trying to be? The one who gives up on their patients?" She argued with them, her voice breaking. "Please. She's my best friend and I can't live without her. You have no idea how much she means to me. She's my Brooke Davis.. " She said, her voice breaking once more. "And there isn't a chance that she won't survive from this..I won't let her not survive from this. So, _please_, doctors, try again."

**_Would you.._**

The doctors exchanged glances once more, and started the paddles again. Tears fell from Rachel's eyes as the heart monitor started beeping, and the flat line vanished into zig zags. She sobbed, falling to the floor, relieved. The doctor patted Rachel's shoulder, and she mouthed a "thank you" to the doctor. "_You _saved her. Not me.." The doctor said, and Rachel smiled, getting up.

**_tell me I was wrong?_**

* * *

She couldn't believe it. Rachel had saved her best friend, and she couldn't have been more relieved and happy. If she hadn't woken up at the exact time, if she hadn't come in that room and told them to continued.. Brooke Davis, her best friend, would be dead.

**_Would you.._**

Rachel decided to call Chase. She knew that just a few minutes ago, he had told her he couldn't talk, but Rachel needed for him to know. He had to, and she couldn't hold it in any longer.

**_help me understand?_**

She waited for an answer as soon as she dialed the numbers. "Hello?" Rachel heard, and the tears welled up in her eyes yet again. The disbelief was running through her body as she was about to tell him the shocking words.

**_Are you.. _**

"Chase, it's me." Rachel said sadly, letting out a sigh. She knew that he was in England and she didn't want to ruin his day, but Rachel knew that he had to know about this. It was so important, and she knew that he would be mad about not telling her any of it.

**_looking down upon me?_**

"Rachel! I miss you so much. We just got in. Are you okay?" He asked her, sounding a bit concerned when he said that last sentence. He sounded so joyful overall that it made Rachel think about not telling him.

**_Are you.._**

"I miss you, too." She said, letting out a small gasp, and he could immediately tell that she was crying. She didn't want him to know how upset she was, and she didn't want to be this upset.

**_proud of who I am?_**

"Rachel.. what's going on?" Chase asked her, his tone of voice showing so much concern for her, that it made her realize just why they were such good friends. "Are you okay?"

**_There's nothing I wouldn't do.._**

"Chase.." She said, trying to stop crying so she could tell him. "I'm not at all okay. Chase, Brooke's been in a car accident, and she's really hurt. I'm at the hospital, now, but I needed you to know that." By her last words, she was sobbing, and he was speechless.

**_to have just one more chance._**

"_What?_" Chase whispered, in complete disbelief as he tried to take in all that she was saying. "She's been in a car accident?" He added, and Chase felt like his heart was going to break. "How did this happen?"

**_To look into your eyes.._**

Her eyes filled with tears; she couldn't feel his sadness beneath her, and she almost felt guilty telling him this. She didn't want to see him so hurt like this because it just killed her. Rachel tried to find a way to speak without her voice sounding shaky. "Well, I was on the phone with her while you were at the airport. By then actually, you were probably already on the plane for a couple of hours. But I told her that you left, and she must've stopped, because I heard no sign of movement. She knew that the car was going to hit her, because she told me that she loved me, and she.. " Rachel trailed off, and it shocked her.

**_and see you looking back._**

"What, Rachel? What is it?" Chase asked her, wanting to know what was making her stop talking. He was eager to find out what had happened to his best friend.

"Chase.. I need to go." She said, suddenly. Rachel couldn't talk anymore, she felt so ashamed.

_**I'm sorry for blaming you... **_

"Rachel, call me as soon as you can, okay?" Chase told her. He hated that she had to leave, he found himself shaking as he thought of losing Brooke. They had never settled things on good terms, and he only hoped that it wouldn't be the last things they would say to each other.

_**for everything I just couldn't do. **_

"I will." She said quickly, closing the phone and putting her hand over her mouth. The sobs were so heart-breaking, and Rachel wished that it would all just go away again.

_**And I've hurt myself...**_

She opened her hand, letting the cell phone fall out and crash to the floor; the battery shooting out and sliding across the hallway. At the moment, only one thing was on her mind, and it definitely wasn't her cell phone.

_**If I had just one more day,**_

She had realized that she was the reason that Brooke was in the car accident, and it just killed her. If Rachel hadn't told Brooke, then she wouldn't of stopped. She wouldn't of needed to. She automatically regreted saying it, telling her at that time when she was driving.

_**I would tell you how much I've missed you.. **_

The tears in her eyes felt like they were drowning her completely, and wiped them with her hand.

_**since you've been away. **_

Her hands were so cold, that she winced when they touched her soft face. Rachel felt as if she was pale, and she had lost a piece of life that was in her. She didn't feel like anything would be the same anymore.

_**Oh, it's so dangerous. **_

Rachel soon found herself sliding down the same wall, and she sat down at the same spot she was in earlier. She pushed her head back onto the wall for support and she closed her eyes as she found herself reversing, remembering everything that happened yesterday, starting with the moment when Chase had left.

_**It's so out of line to try and turn back time. **_

_Rachel gasped as the line went dead, and tears formed into her eyes as she realized what had just happened to her best friend. She also soon realized what Brooke meant by not telling Chase. Brooke had known that she was going to get hit, and if Rachel told Chase, he would have come back from the airport immediately. _

_**I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do. **_

_Her jaw was dropped, and she covered her hand with her mouth. Rachel set herself in the car as she cried uncontrollably. She by accidentally cut her foot on a piece of glass, not realizing that she had broke the mug. _

_**And I've hurt myself...**_

_She remembered what Chase had told her about staying strong, and she tried to stop her tears from falling._

She only wondered if she could stay strong for a while now because of what happened. She tried to stop her own tears, but Rachel definitely didn't feel like she could stay strong anymore, and she didn't want to ever have to again.

_**By hurting you. **_

* * *


	14. Little House

**A/N: **_Wow. I am so sorry. You have no idea how bad I feel about not updating.. in what, a month :( God, I feel horrible. I've been so busy lately with school and everything.. and the big reason why I hadn't updated was because I had been writing a Nathan/Haley one-shot.. and I published that. I had never wanted to write because I just didn't feel into it as I wrote the Naley one-shot.Oh, and everyone. OTHLVR26 asked where Emma was throughout this chapter.. I'm sorry, but I got so caught up in the writing, that I kind of forgot about her during it. I make mistakes, as do everyone. I'm just going to cover it up and say that Emma was with the nanny during that chapter. Sorry for the confusion._

_**romance in the rain**- Awww. Thank you, really. I know, I'm missing my Chase scenes, too. Same with Emma.. I think I'm gonna try and bring her into the story more. Again, thank you so much. __**BeautifulBlackRose**- Awww. I'm really sorry.. I haven't done what you asked.. I haven't updated soon.. :( I'll try and not let it happen again. But thank you so much for the review. It brightens my day. :) __**OTHLVR26**- Thanks so much. :) __**heathergirl84-** Awwww. That's really true. I work so hard on these chapters, so getting a review makes me feel so happy. Thank you SO much. :) __**naley19**- Aw. lol. I love the song, too. Thanks a bunch :D__**JoyIsLove**- Awww, hunny. Thank you. I'm so glad you like it when I write the lyrics; I feel that it kind of sets a place. The lyrics always describe how the person/ people are feeling during the chapter. I try and make it as similar as possible. :) Thank you so so much. __**Allybabes42**- God, Ally, never reading my chapters. rolls eyes Just kidding, you know that. Thank you so much for the feedback babe. It means a lot. __**naley4ever323**- thank you :) _

* * *

_Chapter 14-__** Little House. **_

Rachel couldn't help but just stare into the room, sadness sweeping over her as she looked at Brooke. The cuts on her forehead looked deep, and she looked tired and upset. The doctor was in there trying to explain to Brooke what had happened to her, and it didn't look like she was taking it that well.

Rachel couldn't have been more happy at this moment. Knowing that she basically saved her life, and that she was here with her.. at least doing okay. Brooke was strong, and Rachel knew that she could make it through this. That's all she could ask for right now.

_**She doesn't look, she doesn't see,**_

She didn't think that she had ever gone through so much pain and suffering as she did the last week. So much anxiety was building up as she waited, just waited to make sure that Brooke was okay. Sometimes the pain was just too much to take when she thought about it.

Rachel felt somebody's fingers interlace with hers, and she jumped, letting out a gasp. She turned around quickly, and then screamed when she knew it was Chase.

_**Opens up to nobody,**_

Chase laughed, smiling, and Rachel jumped into his arms. "Aw, I missed you..."

A smile escaped across with lips, and he nodded. "I've missed you too, Rachel. I couldn't stay there when I found out about Brooke. How is she?"

"She's awake.. thank god. But, Brooke broke her leg and had a concussion. It's minor though.. She's doing okay, Chase, and it's good enough."

Chase looked into the room that Brooke was in, watching her talk to the doctor. He looked straight into her eyes, and his heart melted. He missed her so much.

_**Figures out.. She figures out... **_

Brooke turned her head away from the doctors, looking out into the hallway. Chase and Brooke's eyes met, and she let out a small gasp. She didn't think it would hurt this bad to see him.

Chase looked away immediately. but Brooke kept her eyes on him. Chase took a few steps back, putting his hand up. "I can't. I have to go."

_**Something's scratching it's way out.. **_

He couldn't see her like this; he couldn't see her at all. If he went in there, it would be the first time they would talk since their break-up.. and if he couldn't see her now..if he wasn't even ready for that.. Then how would he even be ready.. or _able_ to talk to her?

Brooke put her head down, watching him look so **damn **upset.

_Don't tell me your leaving. _Rachel wanted to snap. _You aren't going to see her.. you are just going to __**go**_

"Go?" Rachel choked, confused and upset. "You're going back? You are leaving again?"

Chase shook his head, trying to find the words. "No. I just can't.. be... _here_."

_**Something you want to forget about.. **_

Rachel watched him step further down the hallway, picking up speed with each step he took.

Completely un-noticed, Brooke wiped the tears that fell from her eyes, and Rachel let her head hang low, staring at the floor.

* * *

_**(one month later)**_

Brooke had been doing a lot better. She was now on crutches.. and slowly, her leg was healing. But, it definitely wasn't the same with her heart.

_**A part of you that'll never show, **_

She still hadn't talked to him until the moment Brooke saw him at the hospital. That, was a _**month**_ago. Far too long.

Brooke needed to talk to him; she just had to. Though it didn't seem like it from the outside, her heart ached when she thought about him.. thought about their break up and what would've happened if she had never broken it off.

_**You're the only one that'll never know, **_

Every single day since, she had to wake up with regret.. with anger, and sadness. As much as she tried to cover it up, her best friend could see right through the facade.

Brooke refused when Rachel brought up him to Brooke. As days passed, they soon didn't talk about Chase at all. She didn't even want to know if he left or not.. because if she found out that he had.. She wouldn't be able to handle it. Rather than to not have any hope, she remained clueless, so that she would at least have some.

_**Take it back when it all began. **_

But she knew one thing: Brooke couldn't stay like this any longer. Without seeing his face. His smile. His comfort.

She would _die_ without him. Hell, she would die _**for**_him. Even if she wasn't aware of it yet.

_**Take it back.. **_

_**Would you understand? **_

* * *

Brooke sat on the couch in her family room, holding her baby in her lap. Emma was about ten months now, and she couldn't believe how fast time flew by.

_Brooke came into Rachel's bedroom, tears lining the sides of her face. Her eyes were puffy, her face was pale, and she looked like hell. _

_"Brooke?" Rachel said, her mouth slightly open as she stared at the sick girl in front of her. She set her coffee mug down on the table, walking over to Brooke and wrapping an arm around her. Rachel pulled Brooke's body towards her, wiping the wet hair from her face. _

_**What it's all about.. **_

_"Sweetie, what's wrong?" She whispered to her sadly, following Brooke over to her bed where she had sat down in. _

_Brooke couldn't speak. Tears were continuing to stream down her face, but yet she wouldn't say a word. Not one. _

_She rested her head on Rachel's shoulder, and whispered to her something that Rachel could not hear. _

_"What did you say?" She asked, eagerly. _

_**What it's all about.. **_

_Rachel got up and grabbed her mug, handing it to Brooke. When she refused to drink it, Rachel took a sip. _

_"I'm.. I'm pregnant." _

_Silence._

_Just for a second, but it had never been more quiet in her entire life. _

_Until Rachel gasped, her mug dropping to the floor as coffee spilled everywhere. _

_Rachel could feel the coffee at the bottom of her jeans, the coffee going through and soaking into her socks. But, she didn't move. Her face was expressionless, and she just stared at Brooke. No emotion. _

_**Something's scratching it's way out.**_

_"Says something," Brooke begged, looking at her. "Please," _

_She couldn't. She couldn't say a thing. Rachel was just in such shock that she couldn't say a word. _

_Tears fell from her eyes as she whispered, "Dammit, say something." _

_She sobbed, uncontrollably, and Rachel wrapped her arms around her. _

18 months ago.. that was. But, yet, it seemed as if it were a distant memory. All of it.

_**Something you want to forget about.. **_

Was that a **good** thing? Was it a **bad**? She wasn't completely sure.

Emma giggled, making Brooke lose her train of thought. She kissed her baby on the forehead, smelling her baby shampoo-hair. Looking over as soon as she heard the door open, Brooke knew that it must be Rachel.

"Hey.." They both said to each other, and Rachel found the couch, soon sitting down. Brooke looked at Rachel, trying to hide how she felt at the moment.

"What's wrong?" _Damn. How does she do that? _

_**No one expects you to get up, **_

"It's nothing.." Brooke whispers to her, hoping that she will believe her. Watching as Rachel rolls her eyes, she knew she wouldn't cut her some slack.

"Do you miss him?" She whispered back, blankly, making it obvious that she knew _exactly _what she was talking about.

_**All on your own, with no one around.. **_

_**Damn.**_

_Should I tell her? _

Brooke sighs.

"Everyday."

* * *


	15. Let Me Out

* * *

**A/N** _:_ _I really suggest listening to the song, "Let Me Out" while reading this chapter. It really adds so much effect. The song is in Chase's POV. This chapter, though, is in Brooke's. I apologize for the lack of updates lately. I know I haven't updated in over a month. I've been really busy, and I've been writing little by little._

* * *

**_"Let Me Out."_ **

* * *

_**"You sit, and you stare. You wait and you wonder. Maybe it's me, and I'm being a fool. You start to believe it's a curse that you're under. And you're just a doll for a girl that is cruel.. with a pin."**_

**B.**

It was an awkward silence. I stood in the doorway, just staring at him as he stared back at me. I wanted him to say something,_ anything_ for god's sake.. just to end the silence between us.

I couldn't tell you why I was here. Why I was doing this considering the situation the two of us were in. But something told me that I should be here; something told me that something I do when this is all over would change everything. I just felt it.. And I don't know if I'd ever be able to explain that.

Questions were rushing through my head like speeding cars, but my mind and energy were focused on only one. One question that wouldn't be at all important to some people but meant the **world** to me.

Could he forgive me?

I was feeling confused and guilty, and I looked into his eyes, trying to search for something to hold onto. Something to believe that he still felt the **same **way that I felt about him.

He just watched me, and I felt like he was torturing me; just letting me stand outside there in the cold. It was so **damn** freezing outside, and I started shiver as the wind blew even harder on my back.

"Hi." I whispered, my voice breaking at the end of the word I spoke to him. I watched him as he let his head drop to the floor, and he stared at his feet. It felt so awkward, and I looked at anywhere but him.

"_Hi_?" He asked me in a faint whisper.Of course, I knew it was stupid. It was probably the worst possible thing I could've said at the time. But, I didn't know what else to say, and I knew I had to say something. I guess it just kind of **fit **at the time.

"Yeah." I mumbled, and Chase looked back up at me. I wanted him to smile. I needed him to. Then, I would at least know a little bit of where he was. But, then his expression changed. Not to happy, but, to angry and confused.. As I was. I closed my eyes for a second, because I knew that I was making a fool out of myself.

He opened the door, and invited me in. I was surprised at his offer, but yet I took it.. Because I knew that I couldn't stay outside much longer.

He stared at me, almost as if he was waiting for me to say something. I knew that I wasn't going to.. I guess I kinda just stood there.

"What are you doing here?"

**Ouch**. That hurt. Not a "It's good to see you" or a "I've missed you, Brooke," but a "What are you doing here?" Though, it's not like I really expected much more.

"I hoped that we could... **talk**."

I bet that I sounded even more stupid, but it didn't matter. It was the truth, and nothing but the truth. I have things I need to tell him.. and I know that he has things he wants to tell me.

"Now? " He said, and I could tell that he was aggravated. I don't blame him; I knew that my actions over the past months were more than just confusing. "After a month of not even seeing you.. _now_ you want to talk?"

"Yes."

_Silence._ **More.**

"Speak up, Brooke." Chase said coldly, raising him eyebrows slightly as he looked into my eyes. The coldness in his eyes sent shivers down my back, and I looked down.

I thought of something to say. I could tell him everything, just **pour** my heart out to him. But, I was scared to. I was scared of being rejected from the guy that I've loved my entire life. I didn't know how he felt about me since the break-up, and until I did, I didn't want to speak a single word.

"You go first." I said, trying to act as if I wasn't feeling any pain talking to him. I tried to hide it, and I wondered if he knew that or not.

He leaned against the wall, pushing all his weight on it as he thought. "Wow. So much to choose from." Chase laughed, coldly, looking up at the ceiling.

_Damn_. I knew that what I did would hurt him, but I didn't think by doing that, it would turn him into such an ass.

"Come on." I whispered, almost in defeat, my arms folded.

_**"So let me out. Or let me in. Tell me how.. that we can win. Because I really wanna know now.. Before I begin.. to let you go.. To let you go.. So let me know."**_

* * *

"What? What do you want from me?"

His cold words that he yelled at me made my heart break, and I closed my eyes as the tears made a wet streak down the side of my face.

"You break up with me for _no_ god **damn** reason. Though, you want _me_ to explain?"

I breathed, trying to calm myself down. I couldn't. I felt **broken.** He was hurting me, and I knew that he realized it. I let it out, the tears falling from my eyes. Chase sighed, looking at me.

"I loved you **so **much.. You don't even realize it. I thought that you were the one I was going to spend the rest of my _life _with. I thought that **you** were the one for **me**. But, I guess I was proved wrong, huh?"

The pain that I caused him was painted in his eyes. With every word he spoke, I felt like I was stabbed in the gut. Over and over and _over_ again. He broke my heart, and I silently gasped at the second I heard the words that he had said.

**Loved.**

He **love_d_** me.

* * *

_**"I'd rather be hungry and homeless. Than here in the warmth of silent and defeat. You've gotta be honest with me and ruthless. Instead of shifting there uncomfortably in your seat.. and in your skin."**_

He laughed bitterly, shaking his head almost as if he couldn't believe the person he was. Or the person I **made** him.

"Chase.. I still have feelings for you.. You _know_ that."

He looked aggravated.. and confused.

"Then.._** Why**_? Why did you break it off? How could you do that to me?"

I brought my hands to my mouth, and they started to shake. At that moment, I knew I had to tell him.

"Because I knew that I would tell you something.. and I knew that you probably would never forgive me after I told you.. The tears started to form in my eyes as I look into his. "Instead of having my heart be broken even more than it already has, I broke up with you to save myself the pain." I choked on my own tears.

"I know that that was selfish, and I know that I shouldn't have done It.. But I was scared, and I was feeling vulnerable. I **folded**." My voice showed that I was completely broken, and it scared me. Almost as a realization of whom I had become.

"What is it?"

Silence.

**Damn **Silence.

* * *

_**"And who've though I'd have the strength to say.. Let me out, or let me in.. But as the words are pouring from my mouth.. I want to say them again and again."**_

"Do you remember night of Halloween? It was right around the time that I got pregnant, Last year. Rachel, you, and I went to a party. You and I got drunk, had sex, and I woke up to find you gone. I didn't talk to you for maybe a week after,"

I looked into his eyes and I could tell that he was confused with all this. I could tell that he didn't understand the point of me reminding him this, as if I thought he forgot. He only nodded, and I continued on.

"Chase." I said, and at the end of the word my voice broke. _**Again**_. "Have you not realized it? Did you not see how Emma's eyes and smile are _exactly _like mine, but her toes are _just_ like **yours**? Have you not noticed that every time you look at her, you see a part of yourself? Because I do. I see you **every time** I look at her,"

The tears blurred in my eyes. I blinked continuously, trying to get myself to see clearly.

"She's yours." I choked, and my hand shot to my mouth. The shock in his eyes made my heart break. I didn't want this. I wanted him to know, but I was so scared that he would run away if I told him. He wouldn't do that, _would _he?

He stepped back, surrendering. I shook my head, the tears falling from my eyes. I wanted to know how he felt. I had to know how he was feeling.

But, I wouldn't know. As I watched him walk out the door, the hand that was placed upon my mouth fell to my side, as I let it drop.

* * *

_**"So let me out.. Or let me in. And tell me how.. We can win. 'Cause I really wanna know now. Before I begin.. to let you go. To let you go.. To let you go. Let me know." **_

Chase paced back and forth. His mind racing with fear, anger, and anxiousness, His heart filled with pain.

He couldn't believe that he had never thought of it, never made the connection. He should have. He should've known. He should've been there. So many moments of his daughter's life that he missed, and it broke his heart. He blamed himself for not knowing, for not being aware of it. But, deep down, he knew that that wasn't true. He knew that at this moment, he was just shocked, and in pain. He didn't know how to make reasonable decisions… or even think clearly.

He sat down in a chair, letting his head fall into his hands as he closed his eyes. The words played over and over in his head, making his entire body shake.

_"She's yours._"

Chase opened his eyes, looking down. The tears made a puddle on the cold floor.

* * *

Brooke sighed, lying on her bed. She felt a pain in her heart, and she knew that it wouldn't be going away any time soon.

Less that an hour ago, She had told the love of her life that he was the father of her child. She wish she could just take it all back. She needed to. If she had known that he would've reacted in that way.. She never would've even thought about saying it. She never would've done it. Why? Why did this need to happen to her? Again?

She stared blankly into the mirror, looking at herself. She didn't think that she would ever be able to try and describe the look of pain in her eyes. It was simply- indescribable. She clenched her fist as she squeezed her eyes shut, letting all the remaining tears slide down the side of her face and onto the hardwood floor.

Moments later, she opened her eyes, taking another long look into the mirror. She looked back at herself, and she knew that she did not want to be the person she saw. She never wanted to, and she never had expected to be that person again.

She knew that she had changed over the years, but somehow she knew that she would never completely change. She realized that no one could. There was still a part of her that was the reckless Brooke Davis, the girl she had been before her daughter came into her life. She realized that she had just simply been hiding it, denying it from herself. She had just thought that if she admitted it to herself, she would turn back to that person she used to be, and the person she wanted to be would just simply go away.

Her fist tightened again as she clenched it. Her knuckles were turning white, and the tears were streaming down her face once again.

She slammed the side of her hand against the round glass mirror, making her feel the same amount of pain she was feeling psychically and emotionally. She felt pain in her bones as the blood trickled down her arm, but she felt the same amount of pain she was feeling in her heart.

_**"Oh.. Let me out, or let me in.. No, no, no. And tell me how.. we can win. Oh, no. I really wanna know now. Before I begin.. Oh, to let you go.. To let you go.. Let me know."**_

* * *

**A/N: **This chapter breaks my heart. I hope you all enjoyed it. Let me know how you thought of it. Reviews are everything.

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